MOSAIC Fall/Winter 2021 | Page 18

SEMINARIAN SPOTLIGHT
Jeremy Schupbach Archdiocese of Detroit , Theology III

“ It was not you who chose me but I who chose you .”

I can ’ t quite say that I have wanted to be a priest my whole life because I can remember a time when I didn ’ t . But something changed when my family started attending a new school , Everest Academy , run by the Legionaries of Christ . There was something about the priests who ran that school that inspired me . They were always joyful , funny , and clearly very holy , and I thought they were the coolest guys in the whole world . By the time I was six , it was clear in my head — I wanted to be a priest just like them .

In high school , though , I began to question that decision that had come so easily to my more youthful self . I was weighed down by the fear that I didn ’ t have what it took to make the right choice . After several months of asking God to help , there was a moment of great peace where I felt as if he said , “ If you want to say yes , you have everything you need .” He spoke into my greatest fear and offered me , not a command , but an invitation . After weighing my options for a few moments and working up the courage , I leaped and gave the Lord my yes .
Though I had given God my yes , I still needed some attitude adjustment . I remember telling God , “ This isn ’ t necessarily what I want for myself , but I will do it for you .” God wasted no time tuning that up . Shortly thereafter , I got a new theology teacher who opened my eyes to the beauty of the church ’ s long theological tradition . The more I learned about my faith , the more I desired to know and the more I desired to share that knowledge . These were two desires that God placed in my heart , which began to make me think , “ There may be more that is desirable about the priesthood than I previously thought .”
Another desire that God planted in my heart was a desire for prayer . After a week-long summer retreat , I committed myself to a habit of daily prayer . After several months of fairly dry prayer , I grew more attuned to the Lord ’ s way of making himself present in our hearts , and I began to experience everincreasing peace and joy from those prayerful encounters .
I chose not to enter seminary right out of high school . Rather , I went to the Franciscan University of Steubenville and got a degree in philosophy . My college years were a blessed time where God expanded those desires in my heart to encounter him through prayer and study , and he also surrounded me with incredible friends who were seeking the same things . I felt like the Lord was doing so many good things for me that it was impossible not to love him back . After graduating in 2017 , I entered seminary for the Archdiocese of Detroit and began to attend Sacred Heart Major Seminary . Here I was making the first concrete steps toward the priesthood , and it felt surreal !
My four-and-a-half years at seminary have been very different from my previous journey . On the one hand , God has deepened the joy that I knew from encountering him in prayer , especially through things like our thirty-day silent retreat . But on the other hand , I have had to grow a lot ! I needed to let go of many of the creature comforts my will was attenuated to , and above all , I needed to let the Lord lead me beyond my limited conceptions of who he wants me to be . That process has involved a lot of humiliation and struggle , and I am still very much learning .
As I look back at all this , I cannot help but be struck by one dominant fact : I may have felt at different points that I was doing a lot to “ make this priesthood thing happen ,” but in retrospect , it has all been God . Every little desire , impulse , and decision that has brought me to this point was put there by him , nourished by him , and protected by him when I tried to resist . Jesus ’ s words from John 15:16 ring so true for me , “ It was not you who chose me but I who chose you .” This process has never been about me and what I can do for Jesus , it is entirely about Jesus singling me out because of his love for me . And even though I am still growing and learning , that is what gives me the confidence to continue on this path as I get closer and closer to ordination .
16 Sacred Heart Major Seminary | Mosaic | Fall 2021