SEMINARIAN SPOTLIGHT
Steven Caraher Diocese of Gary , Theology II
“ I want to be a priest .”
That ’ s what I told my parents when I was seven years old in our green Honda Odyssey driving home from a family trip . My mother had asked all four of us kids what we wanted to be when we grew up , and we gave answers ranging from fairy princesses to garbage men . I gave my answer for three reasons : I wanted to sing on the altar , I wanted to try on all those colorful vestments , and most importantly , I wanted to only work on Sundays . That was the very first time I recognized within myself a desire for the priesthood , and though this desire started simple and childlike , it never left me .
My parents ’ intention to give their children a solid Catholic education led me to attend St . Thomas More grade school . There , my childlike fondness for the priesthood was cultivated , nurtured through altar serving , learning about the great power and dignity of the sacraments , and hearing stories of heroic , saintly priests like St . Maximilian Kolbe . My eyes were beginning to open just a little , not simply to the singing and vestments , but to the beautiful , sacrificial life of the priest .
Transitioning to public high school , I wanted to remain rooted in my Catholic faith , and while I did so externally , internally I felt as if I was missing something . The practice of my Catholicism was starting to feel like a heavy burden , and I tried to muscle through this struggle relying on my own strength . I had a girlfriend , found success joining the high school theatre company and the speech and debate team , and yet in the midst of all this attention and success the thought of priesthood just wouldn ’ t leave . Bothered by its nagging , I shelved it away in the back of my mind and never told anyone about it . Yet , it persisted .
I found the adjustment from high school to college to be very difficult . I came to Indiana University in Bloomington , Indiana with my own agenda , intending to find lifelong friendships and extracurricular success and to keep my faith in a small box in a corner of my heart . Walking into an unfamiliar environment for the first time far away from my family and friends , I quickly found myself isolated from others , unable to cope with the failures and rejections I received . By the end of my freshman year , I had nothing to show for the deep loneliness I was experiencing , and I entered my sophomore year wounded and angry .
At the beginning of that year I was invited to join a small group Bible study , and seeing that I had nothing else better to do , I agreed to join . At the time I saw it as a small , insignificant decision . Little did I know that it would change the course of my life .
Each week I attended Bible study , I felt myself growing closer not only to those who attended the study , but to Jesus Christ himself , who I realized for the first time wasn ’ t merely a historical person of the past , but truly alive and yearned for a relationship with me . Moved by this surprising and overwhelming love , my whole life changed : who I hung out with , what I watched and read and thought about , my dreams and goals , everything changed when I realized that I had been pursued by Christ and that he was saving me from isolation and loneliness . I began to involve myself more and more with the campus ministry at Indiana University , and as I was growing closer to Christ and the Catholic community , the desire to serve Christ as his priest moved from the back of my mind to the forefront of my heart . It was so clear that the Lord was calling me to enter seminary right after college ; I had little desire for anything else . I called the vocation director for my home diocese of Gary , Indiana , and was accepted as a seminarian .
And now my path has brought me to Sacred Heart . I count it a great grace to be able to walk with my brother seminarians as we continue to discern how to love the Lord as he desires as well as the unparalleled opportunity to spend four years studying theology , but what I count as the greatest blessing is to be so close to the sacramental and spiritual life of the church , to have the opportunity to grow in intimacy with Christ every day in prayer , to grow more in love with him , and to hear his voice more clearly every day .
What joy it has been to follow the Lord wherever he leads !
shms . edu 17