MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE
A Sacrament
“From the Beginning”
Marriage has its origin before the Fall and its
fulfillment in the sanctification of self-giving.
Fr. John McDermott, SJ
I
t has become a truism to say the traditional family is
under attack. Instead of being a permanent social
institution based upon human nature, marriage is now
imagined as an arbitrary construction of human desires.
That primitive societies surrounded
sexuality with so many taboos should
warn us post-modern humans that sexual
desires cannot be given free rein without inflicting great harm upon society.
Children raised without the benefit of
both parents suffer many disabilities that
have been quantitatively measured, and
they suffer deeper psychic and spiritual
wounds. Pope Francis properly insists on
the right of children to grow up in a family with a father and a mother.
The Sacrament Before All Others
While the family supplies the natural
foundation of a healthy society, in today’s
intellectual and technological climate,
where everything is apparently manipulated, every appeal to natural structures
can be countered by the claim that human
freedom dominates nature and is capable
of changing it. Yet, among the many great
benefits that St. John Paul II left to the
universal Church is his reformulation of
Catholic doctrine in terms of freedom.
The family is most profoundly understood not merely as a natural institution
designed to preserve and propagate the
human species but as an extended sacrament. For the family grows from the conjugal union of husband and wife, which St.
John Paul II recognized as Creation’s “primordial sacrament”—the sacrament estab-
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any woman. Much more than the natural
attraction between the sexes is involved.
My Friend Is My “Enemy”
How is such commitment possible?
Only God can demand from man absolute commitment unto death. That is the
mystery of marriage: in and through the
lished “in the beginning” before the Fall.
Although previous generations might finite form of a human being, created in
have explained marriage with a knowing the image of his love, the infinite God
wink and a reference to the birds and the makes himself present, calling for the abbees, no one ever saw a couple of birds solute commitment of love. Responding
walk down a church aisle and profess to- to the invitation to love, the spouses join
tal commitment to each other “for better, themselves to each other and to God.
For love defines God’s very nature (1
for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness
and in health, until death do us part.” Jn 4:8-16), and by loving in response to
Most animals fornicate and go their way. his call, spouses share his life of love. In
But human beings make absolute commit- this consists their sanctification.
Admittedly, such limitless commitments of fidelity and care into an unknown
future. More than a rational act seeking ment is scarcely attainable by human
beings. In a fallen world, where love’s
mutual advantage must be involved.
Entrusting oneself to an unconditional reality is usually more easily denied than
love entails a deep mystery. No human be- affirmed by experience, even the Mosaic
ing can demand such commitment from Law permitted divorce (Dt 24:1-3). That
was allowed, Jesus asanother human being.
sured us, because of our
Finite creatures cannot
“The sexual act
“hardness of heart.”
demand absolute fidelity
attracts couples
Yet Jesus forbade difor themselves, even if no
vorce to his followers, relove is possible without it.
to each other. In
storing the original order
That is why the gift of
a fallen world,
of Creation (Mk 10:5love received generates
perhaps such a
12). Since a fallen world
such joy in the heart.
incites all to the pursuit
What cannot be destrong stimulus is
of self-fulfillment, i.e.,
manded as a right, what
required to break
satisfaction of all natural
cannot be concluded
human beings out
desires, living for another
from any rational arguperson can be difficult.
ment is given as a gift.
of their egoism.”
Marital dreams of infiMutual service grounds
monogamous marriage (Eph 5:21-33). For nite bliss are soon shattered by the limits
no man can serve two masters—nor can of one’s spouse. Frustration must ensue.
Sacred Heart Major Seminary | Mosaic | Fall 2015