The Environment Agency isn’t that bothered either.
They think that by the time they enter the ground, when
a body decays, chemicals contained in them are all but
neutralised. There are even a number of embalming
products that just may replace formaldehyde, the
main preservative involved, with a green alternative.
Maybe in the future it will be possible to embalm a
body to the standard that they expect in the US with
no detrimental effect to either the environment or the
person doing the procedure.
And we would still be, forgive me, dead against it.
I have been an undertaker for nearly fourteen years
now, a ‘green’ one, though we would argue that the
term extends far more into the realm of the social and
psychological than it might at first appear. Literally,
this means we use far fewer chemicals than our
traditional counterparts. We never embalm, but we
also encourage far more contact with the body than
usual. We think that returning again and again into the
presence of the person who has died gives enormous
comfort to the bereaved. More important than comfort,
we believe it serves them, it allows them to come to
terms with the enormity of what has happened.
death is
such an
unthinkable
concept
Anyone who has had someone they love die knows that
there is a curious unreality to the experience. You can
be told the news and totally believe it and understand
it on an intellectual level, but somewhere deep inside,
let’s risk a cliché and say inside your heart, there can be
a voice saying No! No! No! over and over again. It’s not
rational, often not even conscious, but death is such an
unthinkable concept that rationality is the first thing
thrown out of the window.
Seeing the person as they really are, spending time with
them may sound like an astonishingly painful thing to
do and most grieving people try to avoid it by saying
they want to remember them as they were, but if gently
encouraged and supported, given time and cups of tea
and a room which feels like a room they might have in
their own house, then a process can begin which can
radically effect the quality of their grief for years to
come, the beginning of acceptance.
There is a strong sense of paternalism in the funeral
industry. A feeling that the public needed to be protected
from the reality of death. Some of this is good old
a necessary
disentanglement
of body
and soul
fashioned entrenched protectionism, but much of this
comes from a genuine belief that most [