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sleep , eight for work or school , and eight for free time . The last eight were the most important . We had to use our spare time productively and meaningfully , doing something that would have a lasting impact on our future . She ’ d say , “ Show me someone successful and I ’ ll show you someone who spends their free time in a productive way .”
Also key was her sending me back to live with my Igbo relatives in Nigeria for two years from age �to 11 . This is common among Nigerian immigrants ; they call it “ shipping back .” The idea is to manufacture hardship to foster resilience and a scrappy mentality . In Nigeria you are up against strong headwinds . You have to fetch drinking water and wash clothes by hand , and power outages are common , but you are still expected to show up on time and do the same amount of work . Kids who go to live in Nigeria are more appreciative of the opportunities they have when they come home . Everything seems easy .
HOW DID YOUR MOTHER NAVIGATE THE TEENAGE YEARS� When Iwas a junior in high school , my grades were As and Bs . My mother knew that would not be good enough to get me into Oxford . She literally cut the cord on the TV . She wanted to eliminate distractions . Then she saw I was spending more time on the phone with my friends , so she installed a residential pay phone . At �rst , Ijust kind of stared out the window , but eventually , since I had nothing else to do , I started working harder and my grades went up dramatically .
My mother was very strict — the classic immigrant mother , a Nigerian Tiger Mom ( laughs ). But there was
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AGUIDE TO RAISING HIGH�ACHIEVERS Asher ’ s �ook , Where the Children Take Us , reco�nts her �other ’ s efforts to raise prod�ctive yo�ng ad�lts after their father ’ s �nti�ely death in acar crash�
no resentment on my part . Icould very , very clearly see from a young age that what she was teaching me at home was having a dramatic impact on me . Your adulthood is alot longer than your childhood and you have to make certain sacri�ces to have a good life . And I did have friends and went out . I was a normal teenager .
My year in Nigeria with my grandparents is part of the reason I didn ’ t rebel . �eople inNigeria are very , very respectful of their elders . You call your grandfather “ sir .” There is no culture of ignoring your parents or arguing back . When you experience that for a few years and your parent says “ No TV ,” you are much more inclined to listen .
My mother also provided role models for us of Nigerian and West-
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African success stories , especially those of immigrants . We did experience racism , so to make sure it didn ’ t affect our belief in ourselves , she plastered magazine articles on our walls about people who looked like us who were soaring in their chosen professions . She also had a white binder in which she collected these articles and she ’ d talk to us about them . The message was , “ If you work hard , you can have what they have .”
When Iwas 13 , Icame home one day and the mirror in my bedroom was missing . In its place was a folder of articles about Nigerians and other African success stories and a note that read , “ Less focus on how you look and more focus on what you can become .”
DID THESELESSONS HELP �EYOND YOUR SCHOOL YEARS� Istarted at CNN at age 2� as abusiness correspondent and became an anchor in ayear using my mother ’ s principles . Not long after I started there , Iwent to one of the talent coaches and asked him to train me to be an anchor . He looked at me , confused , and asked me if anyone had asked me to train . Isaid , “ No , Ijust want to be ready if aposition opens up .” He was skeptical ; CNN is a good place to work and positions don ’ t open up that often . If they do , they are not going to a brand-new person . But he agreed to help me out several times a week after his regular duties , helping me study different anchors , look at how they ask questions , listen to their voices and rehearse . I also prepared on my own , spending hours studying the history of various countries — Iran , Saudi Arabia , the � . K ., Africa — that frequently come up in the news .
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COURTESY OF AMISTA��HAR�ERCOLLINS |