Tracy says this was the absolute hardest conversation she’s ever had.
“Hannah certainly tested my faith, my confidence as a parent, and
my ability to provide clarity during a very unclear time for her.” Later
that day, Hannah had a few more questions.
“She wanted to know how I knew her daddy was with her,” said Tracy.
She told Hannah to close her eyes and think about something he
would say. She did, to which she smiled and giggled. “See! That’s how
you know Daddy is always with you – thinking about him made you
smile and giggle.” Hannah wondered if it could happen again, and
tried it once more, this time with a mirror up to her face. She instantly
lit up with a smile and said, “There’s Daddy! He made my face smile.”
In that moment, Tracy knew Hannah understood and that she was
going to be okay. In preparing for the funeral, Tracy talked with
Hannah about the types of things she would see (an open casket, her
father’s body, people crying, people smiling, people laughing and
telling stories about her father.) She explained to her daughter that she
would see her daddy’s body, but that his spirit was with God.
Tracy and Hannah established a “safe word” before the rosary. “She
understood that she could say this word to me at any time and if she
did, we’d leave immediately, no questions asked.” Tracy gave Hannah
pictures of her and her daddy together for her to focus on. “We held
hands, walked up to his casket, she talked to him about the pictures
and then we sat down.”
When asked how their relationship has changed after suffering this
loss, Tracy explained that it has not. “Hannah and I have a foundation
of honesty and trust. She knows I’m going to be honest with her, she
trusts that I’m going to be there for her, and we laugh A LOT. When life
gets hard, we laugh.”
The close relationship between Hannah and Ron has also proven
integral and invaluable. “ I