Hello Friends,
As of today there are only 23 more days to go until Lauren's treatment for childhood leukemia is complete. I cannot believe the time is almost here. I have so many mixed emotions about ending treatment. We have been fighting this cancer for the last 2 1/2 years. It has taken over my family, our lives, consumed our thoughts, ruined our plans, stole time from both of my kids childhood. It's not fair. I hate what she has been through. It truly has been the worst time. As I sit here and think back on all of it there are are also so many lessons that I have learned along the way. I can never change any of the things that happened. It's all in the past. I am going to try my best to move forward with new eyes, a new perspective on life. I was talking to one of Lauren's oncologists and she was saying how parents of children with cancer have a perspective on life that most people don't really have until they are much older. Like in their 80's and towards the end of their life. They have the advantage of truly seeing what is important and valuing even the smallest things. I know exactly what she means. If this never happened to us I am not sure I would have had the same outlook on life like I do now. When my kids were little we would always have a Friday night dance party. I am not sure when it started but all week my kids would ask when it was going to be Friday so we could turn the lights down and crank up the Taylor Swift. It just became part of our routine. When Lauren first started showing signs of getting sick her legs starting hurting her and then eventually she stopped walking completely for a few months (she was three). I missed those dance parties. Eventually, she was feeling stronger and we resumed our dance party tradition and you better believe that I have come to cherish and appreciate our dance parties now. I know what it is like to lose that normalcy and I am so thankful that we are on the other side of it.
Lauren has one more IV chemo and one more lumbar puncture. She has one more week of steroids. She has 23 more days of nightly oral chemo. I am sitting here typing this and it doesn't seem real. We are reaching the finish line. It seemed like we would never get to this point in the beginning. It's been a long road with some bumps along the way. As much as I want to be done with all of this, I don't think I will ever be able to close the door on this chapter. It has scarred me forever. But I am going to focus on the positive. I feel so lucky for where we are today.
Thank you for all of your support.
Xoxo,
Shawna
.
McKinley is doing really great. She's loving school, LOVING dance & enjoying being off chemo meds. It really is amazing how much she's grown, how much she's developed & how much more personality she has since she's stopped chemo. All things are looking great which is wonderful news. We've been very busy with advocating & promoting childhood cancer awareness month & attending a lot of events. We did have one scare at this months appointment but all was confirmed negative with an ultrasound. Myself, a few other "cancer moms" & McKinleys oncologist were all concerned about a vein by where her port was placed especially since she had a clot in the past. But all was confirmed ok with a quick ultrasound (Thank God). I'm not sure I'll ever be able to take a deep breath but I do try too. We are praying for a Halloween at home this year (last year we spent 8 days in the hospital fighting a nasty virus over Halloween). And although the nurses & staff came by her hospital room to trick or treat, I'm actually looking forward to sweating & fighting bugs on Halloween night this year. It's the little things 😉 Thank You as always for keeping McKinley in your thoughts & prayers.
xoxox,
Karen
LAUREN'S CORNER