Mommy's Time Out Magazine February 2019 | Page 24

From that point on, she has been going down at 6:30 pm and waking at 6:30am. On the very rare occasion that she does wake up in the night, I go to her. Sometimes she just needs a little hug and sometimes she wants to nurse, but 99% of the time she sleeps for 12 uninterrupted hours. She wakes up happy and smiling almost all of the time now. She naps 2-3 times per day. She is a totally different baby now, getting 14-15 hours of sleep per day. She laughs and plays ALL the time now. She smiles at the drop of a hat. She hugs and kisses, plays independently, lets new people hold her, and trusts that mom and dad won’t ever let anything bad happen to her. She was ready to learn how to sleep, and I think it honestly was the right thing to do for her.

Even with those wonderful results, I struggled with what we had done. For about 2-3 weeks, I was so ashamed to talk about it and to think about that first horrible night. I talked with psychologists and cried to friends and family about it. To this day, I still get choked up when I think about it.

BUT, I also look back on everything and feel that as difficult as it was, it was


In writing this, I am finally releasing the guilt. I am allowing myself to be honest

with why and how we did it in the hopes that maybe it will comfort even one other mother. Judge me if you must, but looking back, this was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done as a mom, and probably the best thing I have ever done for my child. It may not be the right choice for every child, or for every parent, but for my baby, I am a good mom.

Carey Yaruss Sanders is a voice teacher/vocalist who moved from NYC to LWR to start her family. She is passionate about yoga and spending time outdoors, and grateful for her friendships with other bright, strong-minded, confident mothers. She has 2 adorable girls, Quinn and Dorian, and a husband who is truly the best husband and father imaginable. She’s delighted to be a contributor to the newsletter!

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