I begged to come back in Friday (this was Tuesday) but they really wanted a full week for her to fight this virus. It was a terrifying, torturous 7 days. I had to believe she was healed from this terrible disease forever but gosh was it hard. She was sick, tired, grouchy, the broken collar bone...I was trying SO HARD to not go there but I truly can't describe this numbing feeling that comes over you. All I was doing was crying. Its so hard not knowing answers. I thankfully didn't see many people cause we weren't doing anything as I was in no place to be in public but my poor friend spotted me at Brady's pick up one day and I lost it! I try to not cry in front of the kids either and one day Casey got home from work and I heard Brady tell him "Mommy's crying again." It just sucks. I found myself on my knees a lot that week. Well he certainly does answer prayers. At our appointment one week later 3 out of 4 of the "crashing counts" came up and this was fantastic news. Of course brought me to {happy} tears. Our immune system really is an incredible thing. Had our appointment been 4 hours later last week I never would of had that private conversation with her oncologist in the room across the hall. She would've treated this more as a "lets wait this out because of the virus". But because she literally didn't present sick until a few hours after we were there we didn't know. But we received good news and the happy tears were flowing.
I'm so thankful for friends that reached out and prayed or just simply kept McKinley in their thoughts. Please continue to. Just because this treatment is "over"...one blood test can send your entire life into disarray. I'm thankful for my husband who has this calming sense about him and can always talk me off a bridge even when I know he's not calm. I'm thankful that McKinley is home and healthy and we had wonderful THANKSgiving together.
XOXO,
Karen
McKinley is doing really great. She's loving school, LOVING dance & enjoying being off chemo meds. It really is amazing how much she's grown, how much she's developed & how much more personality she has since she's stopped chemo. All things are looking great which is wonderful news. We've been very busy with advocating & promoting childhood cancer awareness month & attending a lot of events. We did have one scare at this months appointment but all was confirmed negative with an ultrasound. Myself, a few other "cancer moms" & McKinleys oncologist were all concerned about a vein by where her port was placed especially since she had a clot in the past. But all was confirmed ok with a quick ultrasound (Thank God). I'm not sure I'll ever be able to take a deep breath but I do try too. We are praying for a Halloween at home this year (last year we spent 8 days in the hospital fighting a nasty virus over Halloween). And although the nurses & staff came by her hospital room to trick or treat, I'm actually looking forward to sweating & fighting bugs on Halloween night this year. It's the little things 😉 Thank You as always for keeping McKinley in your thoughts & prayers.
xoxox,
Karen