Momentum - Business to Business Online Magazine MOMENTUM March 2020 | Page 38
NON-PROFIT OF THE MONTH
KELLY KING
Communications Director
[email protected]
832.632.1221 | www.anchorpoint.us
CHILDREN IN FULL
MELTDOWN MODE?
Use the IDEAL response.
W
e have all been there…our kiddo is
refusing to listen, screaming in the
grocery store line, in full-on melt-down
mode at the restaurant and there we sit
in udder disbelief. Our sweet, innocent
babe, grew into the minion before us ruling the world
as we know it. It feels like a parenting fail, but take
heart you are not alone, there is HOPE! Anchor Point’s
Rendie Brown Licensed Family& Marriage Therapist and
Director of Pathway to Hope Family Camp has some
answers to help keep the whole family from imploding!
Pathway to Hope Family Camp utilizes TBRI (Trust
Based Relational Intervention), an evidence based
therapeutic modality known for helping kiddos in hard
places connect with their parents and improve their
behaviors rather quickly. The best way, according to our
friends at the Karyn Purvis Institute, to correct behavior
with our children is by being playful. They call this
playful engagement. Evidence show that play disarms
fear and helps to promote connection far better than
scolding, shaming and yelling. Sometimes though,
being playful does not always work and parents need
something more.
The IDEAL approach was developed to help moms
and dads during these challenging times. IDEAL is
an acronym for Immediate, Direct, Efficient, Action-
Based, and Leveled at the behavior. Parents want to
be Immediate so the child learns that the behavior just
produced is the behavior in question; not the behavior
from 30 mins ago or even yesterday. An immediate
response will also stop the behavior quickly and help
the child get back on track without harming themselves
or someone else should the behavior escalate. Direct
means you want to get on your child’s eye level so that
you can talk directly to them; eye to eye. This helps the
child not feel you are towering over them and lessens
any feelings of a power struggle. Once you’ve reached
your child quickly and are on their level, you will want
to choose an Efficient response. This will depend on
the behavior produced by your child just make sure
you do not go overboard. In the Action-based portion
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MOMENTUM
of the IDEAL approach,
you will lead your child
through a re-do. A re-do
is a walking through of
the event again, from
the start, but the child
will choose a different
ending; hopefully a
more desirable one!
Now is the time to
praise, praise, praise
your kiddo for making
a better choice!! The
act of a re-do helps
your child’s brain learn
what to do next time.
Lastly, Mom and Dad,
make sure that you
always communicate
to the child that it’s
the behavior that is
unacceptable, not your
son or daughter. Our
children must know they
are always precious and
loved regardless of their
behavior. Your actions,
your behaviors do not
impact my ability to love
you in anyway...that is
a Leveled-at behavior
approach.
Do you need help
with your children?
Anchor Point’s Family
Hope Center is there
for you! Please don’t
wait, hope and peace
in your family’s home
is a phone call away:
832.632.1221.