Mahalia
raw and real
I have spent a long time being ashamed of having the various
mental illnesses that plague my life. Why is that? Why is it that
society has made me believe that something I didn’t choose was,
and still is, my fault? Roughly 9% of the Australian population are
directly affected by an eating disorder, and that statistic doesn’t
factor in the effects on the family and friends of the sufferer. Why
is it that despite being one of the most common chronic illnesses
in young people eating disorders are barely touched on? Why are
they skirted around? An eating disorder is not contagious so why
are people still too scared to talk about it?
According to a study undertaken in 2012, almost 1 million
Australians suffer from either Anorexia Nervosa and/or Bulimia
Nervosa. This statistic is even more alarming when you take into
account that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate
of any mental illness, upwards of 20%. Anorexia Nervosa is a
disorder that is classified by restrictive eating, over exercising, an
intense fear of certain food groups (such as carbohydrates), and
body dysmorphia (meaning that the sufferer views themselves
as fat despite being, in most cases, dangerously underweight).
Anorexics sufferers are incredibly afraid of gaining or maintaining
a healthy weight. Anorexia can also cause many unwanted health
complications, including: a compromised immune system, heart
problems, kidney failure, osteoporosis, increased infertility in
both men and women, iron deficiency, intestinal problems such
as constipation or abdominal pain, hair loss, blue hands and feet
from cold, and a premature death.
In many cases I have a greater chance of surviving
cancer than I do of surviving and recovering from
my eating disorder.
I’m Mahalia, I’m 15, my favourite colour is teal,
I spend way too long on Instagram and I suffer
from anorexia, depression and self-harm.
And I have never said that out loud before...
Having an eating disorder is a very isolating and lonely
experience. I have been fortunate enough to have a strong
support network, but for many this just doesn’t happen. Would
you desert somebody for having diabetes, or cancer, or even a
cold? No, you wouldn’t. So why are people all around the world
up and leaving on people with mental health issues? Imagine
you were me for a minute; each day is a battle against a voice
in your head telling you that you are never ever enough. A voice
that screams that you are too fat, too ugly, too worthless, that you
don’t deserve to eat, that you don’t deserve to have fun. Imagine
that every day you had to fight just to eat enough to sustain
yourself and then cope with the guilt. Imagine that you have
exercised to the point that if you stand up you will faint but still
the voice in your head won’t leave you alone. Imagine that all of
this has happened to you in one day; now imagine that you can’t
tell anyone for fear of upsetting them. How are you supposed to
cope if nobody wants to listen?
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