White Girl
by Angela Stanojevic
age 14 (Moree Secondary College)
Tall, handsome, nice; every time he shows his wide smile, he just makes
me happy. If he doesn’t smile, he will try to make a joke or just say
something stupid. He cares about me and he respects me more than any
other guy. He is just everything a girl would want.
But then I think about the future. Is this what I want?
A wide smile pops on my face as he says really important words,
‘Will you go out with me?’
In my head, I can feel everything say, ‘Just think about it, wait.’
And then I feel my heart slowly beating and yelling out to say ‘Yes!’
Which one do I listen too?
Too many feelings were running through my head. And out of no-where I
said ‘I will think about it,’ in a nervous, soft voice.
The confused look on his face made me turn around. As I hear my heels
clicking on a smooth white floor. I wanted to turn around and tell him I
don’t know what I’m doing, that I’m confused,
that I thought everything was perfect. But I didn’t.
I started thinking about everything around me.
Am I always going to be ‘The White Girl’ to his family?
Will they judge me because I’m different?
Will everybody think about that I’m not good enough
because my boyfriend is Aboriginal?
Will my kids be laughed at because they would be
half European, half Aboriginal?
Those are all the things on my mind, things that I see at school,
on the street, everywhere.
But then my heart started beating again, really fast. It’s like my heart
slapped me across the face. It told me to Wake Up and Think Straight.
I looked at the good side. What if we really love each other?
What if his parents are just like mine?
What if I’m thinking too much?
And then I decided that I’m not going to be what
people expected me to be.
I will be who I want to be.
His Girlfriend.
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