3. Be the first to say hello. When you walk into a room or pass people, take the initiative to be the first to say hello. Greeting people shows them that you are friendly and receptive. Upon arrival, I do my best to walk the room greeting everyone I know in the room. At that point, I oftentimes say,“ Save me a dance later” – which basically fills up my dance card right away.
2. Master the mirada. When I want to dance, I smile and make my intention clear in my gaze. I position myself where I have a clear line of sight to dancers and they have a clear sight to me. Gaze as much as you want; the contract doesn’ t happen until the cabeceo( the nod), so don’ t be shy with looking around. Gaze the room as if you are holding an amazing secret that you are simply dying to share with the right person.
And if you really want to guarantee getting asked to dance all night ….
1. Take a private lesson. If people are still skirting around you and focusing on blank walls when they see you, find a pro who is a master at teaching social dancing technique. Find a pro who has the courage to teach you what you need, not what you want. There’ s a tendency to believe our technique is better than it truly is, and it’ s easy to get a little sloppy over time. Committing myself to regular coaching has made a massive difference for me.
Lastly, some nights I’ m simply feeling more demure or shy, especially if I am feeling intimidated by the skill level of the room. In that case, I ask friends, the DJ, host or promoter who they recommend I dance with. Most people are more than happy to make an introduction or point out a warm, friendly dancer who will put me at ease.
At the end of the day, keeping your skills sharp is key. However, a big part of getting asked is simply about exuding good vibes. Change your vibe- and it will definitely change your night.
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