MODERN BUSINESS
overpowered by our emotions. If
we can tie our focus to a search for
solution to the issue, we can nudge
our attention away from our feelingheart and its ace assistant the right
brain, over to the left, more logical
side of our thinking world, It takes
practice and persistence but will pay
big dividends as you feel your claws
retract.
5
1
Take Personal
Responsibility
It’s just so easy for us to point the
finger …”I wouldn’t get so upset, if
he’d just stop being so…”. If we think
about it, blaming someone else,
actually hands that person a level
of control. The most powerful thing
we can do is remind ourselves that
‘others’ are not responsible for the
way we feel, what we say or what
we do or don’t do — we are. The way
we think, the filter through which we
view our world, is totally responsible
for our experience of it. This is
exciting news, because it means
that one easy way to manage our
irritability and defensiveness is to
shift our thinking, which brings me to
the next tip.
2
Choose to RESPOND not to
POUNCE
In the heat of the moment it’s
normal for us to feel triggered
into a defensive state of anger,
frustration, hurt, embarrassment, or
indignation, but it’s how we choose
to manage these emotions on the
spot, that counts. Try ‘flicking the
switch’ from the negative emotion
you’re experiencing to one that is
more positive and constructive.
Experiment with becoming ‘curious’
or ‘understanding’ instead. Try
focusing on what the other
person needs from the interaction
(regardless of their behaviour) and
respond accordingly from a powerful
place of calm and control. Faking it,
till you make it counts by the way!
3
Aim for Win-Win
Often when we lose our temper
its because things aren’t going
our way and we see ourselves
moving into defence-mode. These
emotional moments are hugely
complex because there are so
many variables involved- The issue,
situation, environment, feelings,
what’s being said, who’s saying it,
how it’s being said, as well as what
we choose to throw into the mix.
Sometimes the simplest and most
effective approach is to remember
one easy phrase: “Aim for win-win”.
Committing to this in the moment
can have an impactful, positive
effect on how we handle ourselves,
on what we say, how we say it, and
on the end result.
4
Stay on the Hunt for
Solution
The one thing we loose track of
when we leap into conflict is a
sense of objectivity, because it’s
Become Collaborative
Tigers by nature are sole
operators, as are we in a moment
of conflict. When we feel our
temper rising, we can try placing
our attention instead, on moving
more with the pack. That means
being willing to share our thoughts,
not dictate them. It means asking
questions and exploring what is
important to the other party, not
trying to enforce