MANN the running mann by STUART MANN
After a shoddy 2023 where not one family holiday was planned around a marathon , I am pleased to report that the Capital City Marathon was the focal point for our first family holiday of 2024 . My top tip for Gauteng runners participating in Pietermaritzburg marathons is to avoid staying in Pietermaritzburg itself . Instead look for accommodation in the Midlands , which makes the drive down from Gauteng slightly shorter , your stay a lot more scenic , and probably a lot better smelling , too … even if you are staying on a working farm , like we did !
Our drive to the cottage was uneventful until arrival , when I opened the car boot and a stray beer dropped onto the stone driveway , causing a hairline fracture in the can . It takes quite a bit to get me emotional , but I was clearly distraught . My eldest daughter even remarked that the only time she had ever seen me cry was several years ago , when we had to put our beloved pet cat down , and she thought this was going to be the second . ( I did manage to render some emergency first aid to the beer can with a waterproof plaster that would normally offer race day nipple protection .)
Meanwhile , my youngest daughter , who is at the precocious ‘ tweenage stage ’ of her emotional development , had a wobbly because she couldn ’ t find her jewellery . I told her not to worry , as I would lend her my race medal , but my kind offer only seemed to make the situation worse . I did , however , earn some points back by sharing the contents of the race goodie bag with her . For your R390 entry fee , you get a good quality shirt plus plenty of snacks and drinks .
THE RUNNING
MANN the running mann by STUART MANN
Humans Versus Humidity
I ’ m a bit behind with writing up the race reports of some of my more recent races , but here ’ s another one from February that I think you will enjoy , from the Capital City Marathon in Pietermaritzburg … because , as you know , I do love travelling around SA to discover new marathons . And new urban farming methods ! Marathon # 261 / Unique Marathon # 157 / 25 February 2024
early alarm on race morning . There is also some additional hassle factor because the start outside City Hall is about 3km from the finish at the Msunduzi Athletics Stadium , so you need to allow extra time to get parked and then trot to the start .
They say that if you can ’ t handle the heat , you should stay out of the kitchen . Well , I do spend some time in the kitchen – although probably not as much time as my wife would like – and I can handle the heat that comes with being the sole male in a household of women . ( Sidenote : Even our cats are female . I am totally emasculated at home , and the only vestige of masculinity I have left is my surname .) However , if you can ’ t handle the humidity , you probably shouldn ’ t be running marathons in KwaZulu-Natal in February . Humidity is something that I struggle with and I was already sweating profusely by the time I arrived at the start . However , I noticed I was not alone , and most runners glistened under the glow of the streetlights .
Like the characters in Dune , I knew that every drop of sweat was a precious resource that should be protected at all costs , although I rued the fact that I had not paid more attention to the water conservation techniques of the Fremen on Arrakis . Therefore , I did not join the throngs in the sheep pen , but gave my compatriots a respectable distance before joining from the back of the field once the start line had cleared . And as I sweated through those first few kays , a thought struck me : When you pay in sweat during a marathon , this is known as ‘ pursepiration .’
Sights and Sounds
The first half hour of the race is run in darkness . The good news is that the streetlights provide ample lighting , but the bad news is that there are plenty of hazardous potholes that could send you for an early shower if you get your footing wrong . Organising a city marathon in 2024 South Africa can be tricky , and I asked the organisers what would have happened if there was load-shedding . Whilst they can plan and make contingencies for load-shedding , they highlighted that a bigger concern was criminal elements who sabotage and steal the infrastructure . To counter the risk of the runners being plunged into darkness , the organisers had SAPS and the Mi7 security group on standby with floodlights .
Taking a tour de foot of Pietermaritzburg
Sleepy and Sweaty
If New York is the city that never sleeps , Pietermaritzburg is the city that never wakes up . Therefore , it is ironic that Pietermaritzburg races start several hours before any sensible person wakes up . The obvious deduction that one can make from this is that marathon runners lack common sense , and are the only subcategory of humans that would willingly consent to a 5am race start . The downside with staying 45 minutes outside of Pietermaritzburg is that you need to set a very
When I was a teenager in the early 1990s , I remember listening to the Top 40 on Radio 5 ( as 5FM was known in those days ), and there was a popular song called “ Nothing Ever Happens ,” by the Scottish band Del Amitri . Phil Wright was the show ’ s DJ at that time and whenever he played “ Nothing Ever Happens ” he would comment that the song is about Pietermaritzburg . My recent experiences with people who live in Pietermaritzburg have done nothing to dispel this sentiment . However , whilst nothing may ever happen in Pietermaritzburg , I was soon to discover that plenty goes on in Hillcrest …
Having seen the large amount of litter on the route and , being the upstanding citizen that I am , I decided to do my bit for the environment by ‘ picking up stompies ’ and
Images : Stuart Mann
22 ISSUE 168 | www . modernathlete . co . za