A Few Tots Too Many …
Running Animals
ROAD RUNNING that was also almost 10 years ago . Since then , there was COVID , there was the above-mentioned health scares , and there were many midnight ‘ PB-and-J ’ stress-eaten sandwiches . Thus , I found myself at this low point of self-esteem , thinking to myself , I ’ m just a middle-aged old guy who must restart his running career and lose weight at the same time , and it ’ s my own fault . I needed to re-assert the motto : I eat , therefore I must run .
“ That ’ s a good intention ,” my wife reacted when I told her about my new goal , “ but what exactly are you going to do ? Curb your cravings ? Because you eat like a caterpillar . Go for a walk ? Because I see the dogs have started digging a new hole to China in the garden thanks to your lack of exercise . It won ’ t work if you sit behind your computer and feel sorry for yourself all day long . You must make peace with the facts – you are built big , you are getting old , and you ’ re going to die big .” Aah , Cindy , my wife with the tact of a rhinoceros in a China shop ... She is such an inspiration ! But there and then I decided to prove her wrong .
A Few Tots Too Many …
Running Animals
In late 2018 , Guillaume had a rather interesting experience during the Winelands Marathon in Stellenbosch – let ’ s just say it involved a wee bit of brandy . As he wrote then for our January 2019 edition , to run a good race , you need to get your nutritional intake right on race day , but taking the wrong supplements , or trying something new during the race that doesn ’ t agree with you , can lead to disaster … or seeing double ! Click here to read this very funny story .
The first article by Guillaume published in Modern Athlete appeared in our April 2017 edition . As he wrote : “ I ’ m not a very good runner . In fact , there was one Cape Peninsula Marathon where I came in dead last – and not even close to the cut-off time of five and a half hours . The organisers took pity on me and I still received a race medal , but that year , my Brackenfell running club awarded me their ‘ Turtle Trophy ’ for the effort . I almost quit running … because I thought nobody like me should be allowed to be in a race , or even be called a runner . Then , not so long ago on a parkrun , it struck me : It doesn ’ t matter how slow you run , if you ’ re on the road with a pair of tekkies on , you ’ re still a runner … but what is more important is the type of running animal you represent .” Click here to read the rest of the article .
Guillaume and Cindy after the 2023 Sportsmans Warehouse Winelands 10km
It ’ s dangerous to initiate a midlife crisis based on a dare . Especially if it pertains to your health , emotional wealth and overall fitness . I should ’ ve rather gotten a tattoo on my arm that reads , “ My wife likes me big and strong .” Ah well , it is what it is . So , the first thing I did , was enter a 15km race . It seemed like the proper reboot for someone who already ran a few marathons . A 15km will be easy-peasy , I thought .
All Seemingly OK
I started out strong , and the first 500 metres went splendidly . This race was going to be a breeze – I just had to keep on walk-jogging in my slow waddlesome way , and I ’ d be done in no time . It was that simple . But that was a case of famous last thoughts . In the blink of an eye , I couldn ’ t continue at this pace . I simply had to start walking . All the other runners swept past me , and within minutes , I found myself as the focus point of the ambulance serving as sweeper vehicle , trailing ever so slowly behind me . It was terrible . I seriously contemplated quitting .
Then I remembered my wife ’ s parting words that morning , before she turned and snoozed further : “ Don ’ t call me from the hospital . I ’ m going to laugh and tell you I told you so .” So , I kept on going . My lungs slowly burned to death . My legs entered a state of numbness . I could feel the tension in my Achilles tendons . I was sure I was going to end up lying in bed that evening with ice packs and horse ’ s ointment all
over ... but I stubbornly plodded on . Nobody would be visiting me in a hospital . This bloody ambulance could go and wait for someone else . Even if I finished at nightfall only , this race WOULD be done !
Well , I did eventually finish . It was only two minutes after the official cut-off time , and eight runners still had to cross the finishing line after me . I even got the medal . Yes , I was aching , and I was headaching , but I had done it .
Realistic Goals & Self-belief
For the next race , I wisely stuck to a 10km only . And the next one . And the next … Soon I rediscovered a very interesting thing : The only person who doubted me was myself . There were other persons of similar proportions at all the races , and everyone ran at their own pace . What mattered was to keep on going , and never give up .
Soon , I will be like Tannie Annetjie , that formidable , legendary Western Cape runner who comfortably finishes 21km races at the age of 83 – even though that will 30 years from now for me . Hell , I even got my wife to start running . Nowadays , I relish the end of each race we finish together . That ’ s when the announcer says , “ Here comes Guillaume and his wife , Cindy . Remember , couples who run together , sweat – umm – stay together !” It ’ s music to my ears .
Guillaume is inspired by 83-year-old Tannie Annetjie Berntzen
About the Author
Guillaume Smit is known as the ‘ Running Pastor ’ because he is a minister of religion and leadership coach at the Brackenfell West Dutch Reformed Church near Cape Town . He holds a doctorate in theological studies from the University of Pretoria , and also lectures at the Hugenote College in Wellington . He took up running in 2013 , after what he describes as a sedentary lifestyle for almost two decades , and has been a member of the Brackenfell Athletics Club since then . Now and again , he jots down a few words about his running adventures and shares them with Modern Athlete mag .
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