THE RUNNING MANN
C o l u m n
In my humble opinion , I think there ’ s an opportunity for someone to organise a cowbell-techno party … where one could , of course , party until the cows come home ! ( Another one for the dad joke book .)
Doing some window shopping near the end of the race
Getting There Slowly
My biggest fear was that the tables would run out of water on the way back – I reckoned that one missing water station and it would be game over for me . Fortunately , the water tables were excellent with plenty of ice-cold water , soda and various food items . And when one of the water tables did run out of water , the organisers made a plan and drove up and down the route to ensure that all runners were sufficiently hydrated .
My third checkpoint was to get to within 10 kilometres of the finish – regardless of my state when I got there , I knew that I could crawl back to the finish from this position . I probably should have had an additional fourth checkpoint , to keep my body and mind going , because those last 10 kilometres did take a rather long time to complete . My state of mind was not helped by some false advertising from Spar that causes double jeopardy to the Shikhumba Marathon runner . As you can see below , the sign claims a distance of 8km to their oasis , but it ’ s actually 10 kilometres . So , on the way out you are ‘ cheated ’ of two of your hard-earned kilometres , and on the way back you know that rampant retail inflation will apply to the distance to reach sanctuary !
False advertising from Spar – it was 10km to go !
Furthermore , on the way out , I didn ’ t realise that most of those first 10 kilometres are largely downhill , and you hit the lowest point of the route at this point . Even so , it did feel like a little extra altitude had been added to the hills for our return journey . I was resolute in walking anything that looked like an uphill , and hoped my factor 50 sunscreen would hold out until the finish . That said , at least the sun cauterised all the previous night ’ s mosquito bites .
Running From the Flies
The problem with all the livestock ( and deadstock ) around is that when you walk , swarms of thirsty flies tend to use one as a landing strip . Some people run from lamppost to lamppost when they ’ re tired , but I tried to balance being irritated by pesky flies whilst walking , with running until I was just about to collapse on the side of the road ( and give the flies something to really feast on ).
I did have half a mind to honour my promise earlier that morning by picking up a quick quart at the shebeen , and then walk the last kilometre home , but unfortunately , I had taken too long , and my potential drinking buddies were all partied out by the time I came back . I don ’ t like to drink alone , so decided to wait for an official finish before having a legitimate beer . I did , however , spot a new addition to the Shikhumba retail experience , and stopped to ( quite literally ) do some window shopping .
I could find no further distractions and resigned myself to running the remaining few hundred metres home . Prize-giving was already underway when I snuck over the finish line . It was a sweltering 38 degrees at the finish , hence the immediate need for shade and beer . The shopping centre provided the shade , and Don provided the beer . The beer was cold , but you had to drink it quickly if you wanted it to remain so .
My Beer Bonus
It would be difficult to find two marathons more different than Cape Town and Shikhumba . Cape Town would have been by far the easier option , but after a gap of a year-and-a-half , it felt more authentic to make a marathon running comeback at Shikhumba . Perhaps my daughter ’ s birthday was not so inconveniently timed after all .
Shade and beer … the two things I wanted most after the Shikhumba Marathon
Signing out from the Shikhumba Marathon
There was also one other major benefit with the switch to Shikhumba . In an effort to shed some of the pesky COVID kilograms that seem determined not to be shaken , I had given up drinking beer during the week . My escape clause to end this drastic fasting technique was to complete another marathon . Shikhumba might have sucked all the sweat out of my body , but it earned me an extra week of school night beers . I am pleased to report that I am now properly rehydrated and looking forward to running my next marathon .
About the Author
The Running Mann has run over 250 marathons and ultras around the world , and his mission is to run every marathon in South Africa . If you ’ d like him to run your race , or talk at your event or club , email therunningmann @ gmail . com . You can follow his adventures on Twitter , Facebook or Instagram , and on his popular blog .
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