ROAD RUNNING
Of course , it helps that Rory has what can only be described as a multi-faceted thought process , which means he is constantly thinking of new jokes , or things to talk about in his comedic acts and videos . “ I think the best way to describe it is to say I have 380 tabs open at the same time in my head , and that ’ s actually why I run , because it ’ s an exercise in meditation , where I can just close those tabs temporarily , one by one . That ’ s literally why I run , just to close tabs .” he says .
Turning Things Around
Rory is a relative newcomer to running , and it took a lifestyle change at the end of 2017 to get him hooked on the sport . He explains that he realised he was drinking too much , and leading a destructive party lifestyle , so decided to clean up his act . “ I was messy , messy , messy , and knew I needed to stop doing all this stuff , so one day I just decided no more , but then I began thinking , now what am I going to do ? I needed a reason to not party at night , I needed a reason to go to bed at a decent hour , so I decided I would start running each morning at 6am or 7am ,” he recalls .
“ That was frighteningly early for me ! I had been gymming a lot for the previous three or four years , usually at 10 in the morning , so I could still go jolling at night , but now I decided I needed to get up earlier and sort my life out . So , I just started running , but I didn ’ t know what I was doing . I was wearing a pair of old Adidas sneakers , and I just ran every morning , with no plan . I would run 17 kays the one day , then 21 the next day , then four , then eight . I didn ’ t have a programme , I didn ’ t have anything , I was just running .”
“ I also didn ’ t know that you must drink water , so I would come to work and tell my friends , like , bru , I ran 17 kays today and I didn ’ t even need to stop for water , I just carried on running . Eventually , my friend Gareth Jenkinson , who ’ s a sports presenter and does CrossFit and stuff , told
Some More Roryisms
me that wasn ’ t good , and asked me what I was drinking for recovery . I said I ’ ll get home and have a coffee ! Then I started researching all this stuff , learnt about hydration , and realised I needed proper running shoes . I was becoming more and more invested in it .”
With all the running he was doing , Rory decided to tackle his first race , and the FNB RUN YOUR CITY DURBAN 10K sounded good . He says he wasn ’ t even tired when he finished , and that got him thinking … “ I was like , I ’ m sure I can run nine of these in a row . That ’ s the Comrades . So , I Googled how do you run Comrades , found out you must first join a running club , and then looked for a club in Durban North area . I found Riverside Harriers , mailed them for info , and went on to do my first Comrades with them . So , within
Rory ’ s first Comrades medal came in the 2018 race
eight months I had stopped drinking and doing all that naughty stuff , started running , bought real running shoes , learnt to hydrate , started running races , and done my first Comrades . That ’ s literally how I became a runner .”
More Races , Please
Since 2018 , Rory has wracked up a decent list of race medals , including those two Comrades finishes as well as a Totalsports Two Oceans Marathon medal in 2019 , and he reckons he has run most of the marathons in the KZN area . “ I ’ ve done the Hillcrest Marathon , Dolphin Coast Marathon , Pietermaritzburg Capital City Marathon , but I ’ m particularly proud of that Two Oceans medal , because I did a comedy show the same night at the Cape Town Comedy Club . I ’ m the only person that I know of who ’ s done a comedy show and an ultra-marathon in one day ,” he enthuses .
In 2019 , he added a Two Oceans medal to his collection
Rory corrects people ’ s grammar and spelling in his head …
“ I ’ m grammatically pedantic . Like , extremely pedantic . I ’ ll sit and listen to people talk , and think , they said that word wrong , or they paused at the wrong time . I used to lecture at Varsity College in Gqeberha , and if I saw a poster put up by another lecturer , with spelling mistakes , I would rip it off the wall and take it back to that lecturer , so they could fix it . I argued that you can ’ t put this on the wall with mistakes in an educational place . I used to be that guy . They called me ‘ Pedantic Petzer ,’ and I think they were happy when I left !”
Rory gets really impatient behind people who stand still on escalators …
“ If that thing wasn ’ t there , you ’ be walking up the stairs , right ? Now you ’ ve got the added bonus of the thing under you moving as well … but walk ! Especially if it ’ s a narrow escalator , like the one at Lucia Mall , just around the corner from my work , which is so narrow that you can ’ t pass people . And then some people just stand . Maybe it ’ s just my running thing , but I don ’ t believe in standing still . And same thing with the travelators at the airports . You can ’ t not walk on those things , and it ’ s so much fun , like you ’ re on the moon .”
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