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There have been multiple research studies done on the impact and effect of loneliness on us as human beings , especially in the wake of the COVID pandemic and people being forced to isolate or work remotely . In fact , research studies state that loneliness has the same impact on our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day , making it even deadlier than obesity . This is because chronic loneliness can impact our immune system , making us less resistant to stress and increasing our risk of depression . We live very busy lives today , often leaving others with the perception that our life is ‘ full ,’ but often we ’ re just going through the motions without any mindfulness . In other words we ’ re not fully present or conscious as to why we do the things we do , resulting in disconnection , anxiety , burnout and loneliness .
Defining the Condition
Psychologist Daniel Russell developed the UCLA Loneliness Scale , which assesses how often a person feels disconnected from others , and this scale has been used in more than 80 % of all studies done on loneliness . These studies have found that loneliness relates more to the quality than the quantity of our relationships . In other words , a lonely person feels that his or her relationships are not meaningful , and that he or she is not understood by others .
Loneliness isn ’ t the physical absence of other people . Rather , it ’ s the sense that you ’ re not sharing anything meaningful that matters to anyone else . You can have lots of people around you , but if you don ’ t share
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anything that matters with them , then you ’ ll still feel disconnected and lonely .
Curbing Your Loneliness
To prevent feeling loneliness , try one or more of these five tips :
1 . Change things up a bit – When we do the same things over and over again , it can feel repetitive , mundane and boring , which can contribute to us feeling alone , down and depressed . So , change up your routine … try a new coffee shop , drive a different route , go to a different shopping centre or listen to a different radio station .
2 . Find a purpose – Find new meaning and purpose in your life by taking on a new goal or challenge . For example , sign up for a course and learn something new , or volunteer for a worthy cause .
3 . Build new relationships – Reach out to people you ’ ve been out of touch with , or sign up for a social event where you can meet new people and build your social circle , so that you don ’ t feel so isolated and alone .
4 . Tackle exhaustion – when we feel down and depressed , we can feel mentally and emotionally drained . Therefore , implement self-care routines to help you manage your mental health . Go for short walks outdoors , which can lift our mood and energy levels , practice journalling or meditation , ensure you eat healthy and get enough sleep . Put support structures in place to help you manage those moments when you feel it the most , and if you need to , speak to a professional .
5 . Celebrate small victories – practise an ‘ attitude of gratitude ’ each day and celebrate the small steps you make to taking care of yourself and your well-being .
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The Effects of Loneliness
People who feel lonely and alone may feel like their life has no meaning and purpose . This can impact their mental health and ability to function effectively in their roles , and if not managed effectively , it can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts . In some instances , people can turn to various coping mechanisms to avoid feeling lonely such as substance abuse ( i . e . alcohol , sleeping tablets , drugs ) and negative behaviour ( i . e . gambling , impulsive shopping , promiscuous behaviour , etc ).
One thing we should never underestimate is the power of human connection , and the importance of sharing common interests that gives us the ability to develop meaningful connections with others .
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Paula Quinsee is the founder of Engaged Humans , facilitating connection between men , women and couples . She is a certified Imago Relationship Therapy Educator and Facilitator , NLP Practitioner , PDA Analyst , coach and trainer . She has authored two self-help guides : Embracing Conflict and Embracing No , as is an international speaker , advocate for mental health and activist for gender-based violence . More info at www . engagedhumans . com . |
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