Mental Wellbeing
Setting AND Achieving Goals By Paula Quinsee
Many of us have goals we want to achieve in life , but very few of us end up actually achieving them . Here ’ s how you can change that .
One of the biggest mistakes we make when chasing our goals is that we get too caught up in the end result , rather than the journey it takes to get there . As a result , we can feel so overwhelmed by the task that we tend to procrastinate , or give up too soon . It ’ s easier if we understand the reasons for wanting that particular goal in the first place , so let ’ s take a look at how we can do this .
1 Firstly we need to define our goal Let ’ s use an example : You ’ ve been running for about six months and recently started joining friends at some short trail runs , which you are enjoying , so you ’ ve decided you want to move up from the shorter trails to the next level . The first step is to break the goal down into smaller more manageable size chunks .
• The What – To increase your trails runs from 8km to approximately 20km .
• The Why – You wants to take on a bigger challenge .
• The How – You will need to increase your weekly training to build up to the bigger distances .
• The When – The time frame within which you would like to achieve this goal , e . g . the next 20km trail run is three months away .
• The Resources – You must identify what resources you needs to achieve his goal , e . g . knowledge or skills , then assess how you can acquire them , e . g . getting a coach .
2 Break the goal down into smaller goals This way you can track and measure your progress , and it will give you a sense of accomplishment and of making headway . So , if you want to increase your running distance within three months , that works out to 12 weeks within which to achieve this . Focusing on a weekly target is more manageable and achievable than the overall end result of running 20km .
3 Watch your language and thoughts It is often our thoughts and choice of language that let us down or prevent us from achieving our goals . For example , the words ‘ have to ’ sound negative , in that we are being forced to do something , and this can leave you feeling demotivated and uninspired . Using the words , “ I want to ” versus “ I have to ” is already make a change that can only contribute positively towards you achieving your goal . Similarly , If you tell yourself , “ I ’ m so tired , I don ’ t have the energy ” when the alarm goes off for your training session , then that ’ s exactly how you will feel . Instead , if you use more positive and empowering language , like “ I know I can do this , I ’ m making good progress , I ’ ve stuck to my training plan this week ,” then guess what , you will . As the saying goes , you are what you think .
4 Reward yourself for small victories This keeps the motivation levels going throughout the process . So , if you manage to stick to your action plan of running three times a week and slowly increasing your long run from 10km to 15km , then you deserve to reward yourself for being disciplined and sticking to your plan . This can be any type of reward that has appeal and will incentivise you to keep going , e . g . a new pair of shoes , a running top , a massage , a treat , etc .
5 Get a partner in crime At times it may also be beneficial to have a partner who wants to achieve the same goal . It helps to do it together , as you keep each other honest , motivate each other , and keep each other focused . It also helps speaking about your goal to others – the more you share it , chances are you ’ re going to stick to it , as people will enquire about your progress .
6 Don ’ t let the bad patches sway you Everyone has a bad day now and then , and that ’ s ok . What ’ s important is that you don ’ t beat yourself up over it , but rather get back on track as soon as possible . Let ’ s say you skipped a training session , and then had to work late the next few days , so missed two training days in a row . This does not mean all your efforts have gone to waste . Instead , focus on getting back into your exercise regime as soon as possible , in order to keep the momentum going and reach your goal .
7 Visualisation is a useful technique Every day , visualise yourself achieving your goal . If you can see yourself achieving your goal , and how that would look and feel , chances are you will . As they say , if you believe it , you can achieve it .
Paula Quinsee is a relationship and life coach , Tedx speaker and author of Embracing Conflict and Embracing No . She is a passionate advocate for healthy relationships and personal transformation , and works with both individuals and companies to better understand our relationship patterns , communication and conflict styles , emotional behaviours and traits , and how to have healthier human interactions in both our personal and workplace worlds . More info at www . paulaquinsee . com .
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