Dealing with the Loneliness
By Paula Quinsee
Live Well
Remote working has had a large impact on our mental health , with loneliness being cited as the most common emotion being experienced by leaders and employees alike . This can cause us to withdraw and be less committed , creative , collaborative and attentive , and both the quality and quantity of our work can deteriorate , or we can even suffer workplace burnout .
We often associate loneliness with being on our own . However , research has found that loneliness is related more to the quality than the quantity of our relationships . A lonely person feels that their relationships are not meaningful , that he or she is not understood by others , or perceives they are being shunned by and isolated from other people . This can happen from working in a virtual or geographically distributed team , or from being in a team of one – think solopreneurs , entrepreneurs , consultants – and it can have a detrimental effect on our performance and wellness .
Our modern society and lifestyles also contribute to people feeling isolated and disconnected in their personal lives – think social media , dysfunctional and toxic relationships , and the increasing amount of people suffering from depression or some form of mental health challenge .
It ’ s important to watch for changes in behaviour and body language . If your most talkative and participative people start to go quiet , avoid interaction , or their performance suddenly dips , then this is a red flag . On the other end of the spectrum , some people might seek opportunities for more physical contact – think handshakes , hugs , coffee meet-ups – so don ’ t be misled by outward appearances of extroversion . Another area to pay attention to is listening to team members ’ concerns – they may be more aware of what is going on in their colleague ’ s world than you are .
Connection & Community
The only way to tackle and prevent loneliness in the workplace ( and at home ) is to build a culture of connection and community . Here are some insights and tools you can use to achieve this .
1 Change Your Way of Working : Remote / virtual working has its advantages , such as avoiding the stress of the daily commute , the flexibility to be able to spend more time with the children , or the ability to be focused and productive in your own space . However , working remotely should be no different to being in the office , and should still have guidelines . For starters , we seem to have forgotten some basics , such as official work hours , and the expectation of always needing to be online . Other factors will need to be intensified ( think communication , strategy , output ), and organisations and leaders must play a key role in constantly encouraging and adhering to these guidelines themselves , as employees will follow their lead .
2 Develop a Shared Direction : Teams still need to know what is going on , and what they are working towards , both individually and collectively . This may require new ways of communicating updates , progress and feedback – keeping it visual and alive keeps everyone focused and aligned , providing clarity on what is expected from each person , and how they are being measured .
3 Encourage Good Relationships : Just because everyone is working remotely , doesn ’ t mean you won ’ t experience any conflict or discord . It ’ s not as easy to manage conflict online as it is in person , where you can hop into a meeting room and talk it out . It ’ s key to deal with conflict before it evolves into online spats , email trails or team channel fights .
4 Take an Interest in People ’ s Lives : Money is not the only motivator when it comes to keeping employees motivated . Kindness goes a long way , and is a sure way to get to know your people . If this is a challenge for you , create a folder with key notes and personal reminders on each of your employees that you can refer to if needed .
5 Tackle Exhaustion : Zoom fatigue and exhaustion is real , and tackling this requires a new holistic and empathetic leadership style . Also , we are now seeing the whole of an employee , not just the ‘ 9-5 version ,’ and we are stepping into our employees ’ personal space – their homes – which is the place where they could get away from work and the world at large . It ’ s therefore important to implement support policies that encourage wellbeing .
6 Celebrate the Small Wins : By the time Friday comes around , we ’ ve had a long week and are usually running out of steam . Also , all work and no play will soon kill creativity and productivity . So , why not turn your Friday afternoons into an energiser for the week to come ? Get everyone to hop on a video call and share their wins from the week .
It ’ s important to understand that workplace loneliness can be structural , not personal , and people won ’ t solve it on their own . Fostering a sense of belonging may be about getting the work done , but it ’ s also about relationships and cultivating a sense of community , belonging and security through your work streams and teams .
Paula Quinsee is a relationship and life coach , Tedx speaker and author of Embracing Conflict and Embracing No . She is a passionate advocate for healthy relationships and personal transformation , and works with both individuals and companies to better understand relationship patterns , communication and conflict styles , emotional behaviours and traits , and how to have healthier human interactions in both our personal and workplace worlds . More info at www . paulaquinsee . com .
Images : Pexels & Unsplash
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