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That Silly Little Emotion Called Guilt
By Paula Quinsee
If you ’ re anything like me , then you have been feeling the impact of lockdown . Most days I wake up enthusiastic and ready to tackle my day and task list , but it has become harder and harder each day as we have tackled our extended lockdown .
One Thursday morning when I woke up , I wasn ’ t
particularly feeling it . My enthusiasm had waned quite a bit , and I have to confess , I was feeling a little ‘ Zoom-ed and webinar-ed ’ out , too . Most of my days throughout lockdown have been spent online on skype / zoom calls , webinars , online programmes , emails , social media , and the list goes on .
Reflecting on my low energy levels and enthusiasm , I realised I had been working right through since we went into lockdown , losing count of what day of the week we were on , let alone what day of lockdown it was , or that I had lost a weekend somewhere along the way , too . I ’ ve actually had very little down-time for myself , and have not been practicing self-care in the process . So , I decided I was going to be kind to myself and make the most of the next weekend , by taking some muchneeded time out to have a complete break from work – and not feel guilty about it in the process .
That Little Emotion Called Guilt
Quite a few people I have been working with are feeling riddled with guilt , myself included . Guilt that they are not coping with work / home integration , meeting all their work deliverables , playing teacher and keeping the kids school work in check , or household chores , and friction with partners is starting to rise as some of the cracks begin to show from being in long-term lockdown . So , if you ’ re one of those that may be feeling bouts of guilt here and there with what you ’ re currently going through , it ’ s perfectly normal .
One of the contributing factors I ’ m hearing is that people feel their leaders are not really being empathetic and supporting them through this time with trying to juggle a confined work / life balance . There is also a lack of communication from their organisations as to what they are doing to survive as a business , and how this is going to impact employees .
If you are a leader , remember that right now empathetic leadership should be your priority . That can be as simple
as just listening , being there for your employees , and being sympathetic that they are trying to adapt and adjust as best they can , just as you are . We ’ re all riding the lockdown emotional roller-coaster in different ways at the moment .
Work Through the Guilt
According to the dictionary , “ Guilt is a feeling people typically have after doing something wrong , intentionally or accidentally , real or perceived , and letting someone down or not . A person ’ s sense of guilt usually relates to their moral code and can majorly affect their sense of self-worth and self-esteem , and is quite common where there is anxiety or depression .”
So be gentle and kind to yourself , because you ’ re doing the very best that you can . Everything does not have to be perfect , and everything on your ‘ To Do ’ list does not have to be done today . You might have dropped the ball some days , and that ’ s OK . Forgive yourself , forgive others , apologise if you need to , learn the lesson if there is one , but please , let it go with grace , love and gratitude .
Paula Quinsee is a relationship and life coach , Tedx speaker and author of Embracing Conflict and Embracing No . She is a passionate advocate for healthy relationships and personal transformation , and works with both individuals and companies to better understand our relationship patterns , communication and conflict styles , emotional behaviours and traits , and how to have healthier human interactions in both our personal and workplace worlds . More info at www . paulaquinsee . com .
Live Well
Drink in Moderation
Alcohol is a diuretic , meaning that it causes water-loss and dehydration , causing the loss of important minerals such as magnesium , potassium , calcium and zinc , which are vital to the maintenance of fluid balance , chemical reactions , and muscle contraction and relaxation . Added to that , when the body is focused on processing alcohol , it is not able to properly break down foods containing carbohydrates and fat . Therefore , these calories are converted into body fat . Meanwhile , alcohol contains seven calories per gram and offers no nutritional value , so it only adds empty calories to your diet .
Alcohol affects your body in other negative ways :
1 Drinking may help induce sleep , but it isn ’ t very deep , which can trigger you to eat more calories the next day .
2 Research shows that if you drink before or during a meal , both your inhibitions and willpower are reduced , so you are more likely to overeat , especially greasy or fried foods , which can add to your waistline .
3 Alcohol actually stimulates your appetite .
Despite this , many people can enjoy a drink or two without throwing their training and nutrition plans completely out of whack . On the other hand , drinking heavily can significantly derail energy levels , has a larger influence on dehydration , negatively impacts hormonal levels , and can significantly disrupt your sleep . As with all things in life , moderation is the key .
PS : Skipping a meal to save your calories for drinks later is a bad idea . If you come to the bar hungry , you are even more likely to munch on unhealthy snacks , which are often salty , making you thirsty and leading to more drinking . Rather eat a healthy meal first , and sip water between drinks – you ’ ll feel fuller , which will stop you from overdrinking .
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