Surviving the Heat
Whilst the old mining city of Johannesburg is reportedly the largest manmade forest in the world , there are very few large trees – and subsequently very little shade – in the old mining city of Kimberley . As things started getting hotter , Farai and I got a lot quieter . It wasn ’ t that we had run out of topics of conversation , just that the heat was evaporating the idle chit-chat . During our now stilted dialogue , I mentioned that I like to Jedi-like mind-trick my marathons into 10km chunks , thus getting fresh legs every 10km , but that I find my legs are the least fresh between 20km and 30km .
A short trail followed by a long trial alongside a mine dump
Farai replied that he normally has a mental meltdown between 25km and 30km . Aided by the sweltering conditions , Farai proved his point by having his meltdown exactly at the 25km mark , telling me to continue as he was going to have a long walk . ( He actually only finished a few minutes behind me in the end ).
Pushing on alone , the long straight roads formed a shimmering mirage that disappeared into the distance . The only thing flatter than South Africa ’ s GDP growth is a Kimberley marathon route – and the only hills in Kimberley are railway line bridges . Whilst we crossed the railway line a few times on the Diamond route , the organisers took pity on us and kept things even flatter towards the end of the marathon , with a quick trail detour directly over the tracks . This was followed by a short off-road section before we were back on the tarmac next to the mine dumps .
Bit of a long Shot
Rather appropriately , the final few kilometres of Kimberley marathons all tend to include a run past the Honoured Dead Memorial , which commemorates those who died during the Siege of Kimberley from 14 October 1899 to 15 February 1900 , during the Second Anglo-Boer War . The monument was financed by Cecil John Rhodes , designed by Sir Herbert Baker , and features a Rudyard Kipling inscription that was commissioned especially for the memorial .
The monument also features “ Long Cecil ,” a canon used by the British during the siege , and shells from “ Long Tom ,” the Boer canon that shot back at the besieged Brits . The monument is surrounded by schools , and I felt sorry for any schoolboys named Cecil or Tom , because they would have unrealistic expectations to live up to ( which would likely be combined with very unsubtle nicknames ).
We ’ re only here for De Beers
Three of the Best
Having now completed the Kimberley marathon trilogy of Diamond , Meerkat and Groot Gat , I ’ m not sure when I ’ ll next find the excuse to take out the one wood and make the long drive west again . The diamond jubilee of the Diamond Marathon in 10 years ’ time is a definite must-do , but I ’ m not sure I can wait until then .
Diamonds might be a girl ’ s best friend , whilst according to Norman Bates ( a-la Psycho ), “ A boy ’ s best friend is his mother .” A dog is supposed to be man ’ s best friend , but I ’ m more of a cat person myself , so perhaps another Meerkat would be fitting . ( A probing report is still overdue on the Groot Gat Marathon as I ran it before starting my blog .)
Looking for Diamonds
When I was single I always relied on alcohol rather than pick-up lines . I ’ ll admit that this was never a particularly successful strategy , but I did come right in the end . Apparently , the single women in Kimberley are the biggest users of pick-up lines . If you make any comment about “ diamonds lying around ” within their earshot , you ’ re likely to get a return comment along the lines of , “ You ’ re looking at one of Kimberley ’ s finest diamonds right now !” However , when picking up diamonds in the rough , one does need to remember that you might pick up more than you bargained for – after all , diamonds are forever .
Whilst the streets of Kimberley might not be paved with diamonds , if you do a trail run over an old mine dump , you may well end up with diamonds on the souls of your shoes , if Paul Simon is to be believed . I must have just missed out on that front , but as we headed back towards the city , a massive informal settlement was pointed out to me . The residents are all “ artisanal diamond miners ,” known colloquially as Zama-Zamas , who eke out a living by sifting through old mine dumps looking for arterial diamonds .
Speaking of unrealistic expectations , I ’ m certainly not fast enough to win a gold medal , so when a marathon celebrates its golden jubilee , the most appropriate method that I can use to toast to its longevity and success is with my favourite golden liquid . Unfortunately , the school forbids the sale of alcohol on their grounds , but luckily I received an invite to join the Vodacom Kimberley Running Club for a quick beer after the race . It was an offer that I gratefully accepted , and I soon learnt that in Kimberley , “ We ’ re only here for De Beers .”
However , when your alter ego is The Running Mann , marathons all around the country are without doubt the best way to make new friends , and to meet up with old ones . So I don ’ t need a fortune teller to tell me that it ’ s highly likely there ’ ll be a return to the City that Sparkles in the near future .
Signing out from the Diamond Marathon
About the Author
The Running Mann has run over 240 marathons and ultras , and his current mission is to run every marathon in South Africa . He recently fulfilled a lifetime goal of securing a shoe sponsorship from The Sweatshop Broadacres and Asics South Africa ( and a running kit sponsorship from Runderwear ), thus allowing him to run more races and share their stories . You can follow his adventures on Twitter , Facebook or Instagram , and on his popular blog .
Images : Stuart Mann & Courtesy Kimberley Harriers
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ISSUE 133 SEPTEMBER 2020 / www . modernathlete . co . za