Modern Athlete Magazine Issue 129, April 2020 | Page 31

many trials alongside
him, and who helped
him to overcome the
obstacles in his way.
PJ’S PIECE
By PJ Moses
Not Me, But Us
While we have all been living in isolation due to the
COVID-19 virus, and unable to join running friends out on
the roads or trails, I have been thinking about all the people
in my life, particularly in my running journey.
W
hen I decided to enter
my first road running
race, it was an out-of-
character step of courage that
had previously eluded me, but it
was exactly what I needed to do
in order to cement the change
in my life. After running around
my neighbourhood for about six
months, I needed to prove to
myself that I was serious about
this new running life, and brave
enough to take the next step
into this new world that I had
previously only watched from afar.
In the same way,
the friendships I’ve
made on my very
own odyssey have
helped to keep
my faith strong
in the purpose of
my path, and in the greatness of humanity that
fills this world, and which I was not regularly exposed to in the bad old days. You
see, I had always claimed independence, and even in my darkest moments I never
wanted to ask for help, but this mentality of isolation had to be left behind if I was
to be successful in changing my narrative. I had to put my foolish pride away and
acknowledge that I needed a handout as much as I needed a hand up.
There were many who understandably said no, and even though the rejection was
never easy to take, I just kept asking, while trying to prove my sincerity through my
actions. Like running in old shoes two sizes too big, sleeping in bus shelters and
on pavements before races, running long distances in the dark of the morning to
get to races, or long distances to get back home again from a race. And like being
shot at on training runs, or running away from robbers on the way to a race in the
early hours of the morning.
There were many moments when I found myself sitting in a dark room and
questioning this path, and my sanity. But watching over my sleeping kids and
listening to their soft breathing always made me realise that this journey was not
about me, but all about them. Only now do all those struggles make sense. It was
never about the medals that I received, or the podium places that I’ve achieved.
Instead it was about securing opportunities for my kids, and the means for them to
chase their dreams.
No Regrets…
You don’t always know where a new path will take you, and this uncertainty can
make you fearful to take this route, and instead choose a more familiar and safer
option, but then you may always wonder, “What if?” I am glad that I stepped into
the unknown and kept going, because it has led us here.
I look at myself now in the mirror and I don’t see the lost potential and the
frustration of the past, but instead I see a writer for a great magazine and a runner
of epic races. I would not have been here without the help and love of the amazing
people that I have been fortunate enough to meet on this life’s journey. A big thank
you to all who have stood by me, and encouraged me when I needed it. It has
never been just me, it has always been us. Stronger together, stronger forever.
That 10km race I entered was a
shedding of skin for me, a matter
of out with the old and in with the
new. Almost like a rite of passage, just as the first hunt is for any warrior not yet
blooded. I stepped over the threshold and into a strange new existence, with an
uncertain but hopefully brighter future.
Getting from that first step to this moment was a tough and at times brutal journey,
filled with doubts, but because I wanted to create a better life for myself and my
kids, I had no choice but to endure. In life we must all learn that it is better to
endure in order to secure, and that is what I kept using as my fuel and motivation.
I wanted to make a better path for my kids to follow and lay the groundwork for
them to build on from the ruin of my previous life in gangsterism.
The Right Support
I took it one step at a time and
made sure I was in the company
of those who were moving in a
similar direction. The key to a good
journey often lies in the companions
you choose to travel with. As
they say, your vibe chooses your
tribe, and even the ancient Greek
hero, Odysseus, didn’t make his
journey home on his own. He had
companions who had endured
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: PJ is a former Cape Flats gangster who took up
running, and writing about it, when he turned his back on that dangerous
lifestyle in order to set a better example for his two sons. Today he is an
accomplished runner, with podium finishes from short distances to ultra-
marathons, is working in running retail, and his exceptional writing talent has
opened still more doors in his new life.
31