Modern Athlete Magazine Issue 128, March 2020 | Page 26

THE RUNNING MANN
Fortunately, I was kept entertained by a few baboons
who skittishly crossed the road in front of me. There
are three troops in the area and they were closely
monitored by baboon patrols on race morning.
Apparently, we interfered with their normal early
morning foraging route, but they waited patiently for
the last stragglers to pass before conducting their
Saturday morning grocery shopping. As for me, I
enjoyed a bit of respite, swapping places with a
spectator and asking her to take over photography
duties whilst I enjoyed the comfy chair. (Who says
Joburg runners are less chilled than their coastal
counterparts?)
Up the Big Climb
We passed the Perdekloof decision point again just
before the 26km mark and I pulled into the MyO2
‘muscle oxygen’ service station. I thrust my worst foot
forward and told them to “Give me everything you’ve
got!” The Muscle Oxygen did seem to work wonders
on my oxygen-deprived highveld legs as I mentally
topped up my tank for the big climb.
Paradise Kloof and back to sea-level in Simon’s Town.
Although there are hardly any out-of-town runners
on the race, I bumped into fellow upcountry runner
Faheemah Limbada at the start, and kept bumping
into RAC runner, Andrew van der Molen, along the
route. Andrew makes Red Hill a regular visit and told
me that I should have run last year, when crystal
clear conditions would have made for even more
spectacular photos.
Life’s a Beach
The next 5km stretch from Simon’s Town is painfully
flat. However, you can medicate yourself naturally by
taking in the ocean views as you hug the coastline
and pass one beach after another. Whilst some
ultra-marathons somewhat exaggerate the number
of oceans one sees during their race, property
developers this side of the mountain take liberties
with housing estate names. Earlier that morning Misty
Cliffs was suitably misty, but Glencairn Heights is only
a lofty 1.5 metres higher than Glencairn Beach… at
low tide!
You say your final goodbye to the ocean at 38km
and head back into the suburbs, the most notable
of which is Dido Valley – which the local newspaper
infamously misspelt as “Dildo Valley” in a front-page
article about a new housing development a couple of
years ago. No doubt the housing estate was a popular
choice for people looking to escape the confines of
the dry suburb of Fish Hoek.
I did a quick Google search and it seems that they
aren’t the only ones to make this typo. A botanical
website whose mission is to map the geographical
location of all proteas in South Africa, highlighted that
‘Dildo Valley’ is the only place in the region that has
properly satiated ‘Silky Needlebush’ infestations.
At registration the previous afternoon, I had bumped
into an old school friend and Fish Hoek AC runner,
Bruce Hallock. He would be pacing his wife, Kathryn,
for her Comrades qualifier in this race, and bounced
race tactics off me. An integral part of his strategy
was getting to the top of Red Hill, which he told me
was at the 30km mark. My race strategy was also just
to get to the 30km mark, since I was confident that no
matter how sore my leg got, I could hobble home to
the finish from there.
I turned my grimace into a scowl and psyched
myself up for 4km of gruelling torture. Bruce was a
great sportsman in his day, but maths was never his
strongpoint. I was therefore very pleasantly surprised
when we ran out of hill two kilometres later at the
28km mark. I did, however, get a few dirty looks from
local runners when I asked where the rest of the Red
Hill was!
The race’s eponymous hill is essentially two very
steep kilometres where you gain about 155m of
elevation. From the top it is a 5km drop down
The beautiful drop
down Paradise Kloof to
Simon’s Town
and scenic of the choices. Whilst I might have
perpetuated some stereotypes about Capetonians in
this article, it is pleasing to refute the popular myth
that Cape Town people are unfriendly. Having run in
pretty much every South African town that offers a
marathon, I can confirm that the friendliest marshals
in the country live in Fish Hoek and the surrounding
suburbs.
As I made my way around the southern tip of the
Cape Peninsula, it was amazing the number of times
I was welcomed to the Cape and thanked for visiting.
Local runners get it even better, apparently, as I
found out by running much of the last few kilometres
within earshot of Fish Hoek AC runner Noel van Zyl.
Without fail, every single marshal and spectator
offered him a Savannah! (I’m guessing that
Savannah is popular in the dry suburb of Fish
Hoek because “It’s dry, but you can drink it.”).
According to race director Marieta Stevens, “Noel
is well known for downing a Savannah around the
36km mark to fuel him to the end of a marathon –
or at the 70km mark on Comrades.” However, much
to the surprise of the Fish Hoek faithful, on this day
he declined every offer. So, people of Fish Hoek, let
it be known that I like beer – cold, any flavour – and
I would never be so ungracious as to refuse the offer
of a hospitality drink the next time I run the Red Hill
Marathon. Because, yes, this is definitely a race I’ll be
running again – and I am sure that I will enjoy it even
more on two functional legs.
Signing out from the Red Hill Marathon
If Dido Valley leaves you with a smile upon your face,
a quiet unassuming little road called Genoa Avenue
will wipe it right off again. Genoa presents the final
challenge of the race between 40.5km and 41.5km. It
starts off as an ever so gentle incline, but ends with
a violent stinging barb. Actually, this would probably
not even classify as a “real hill” on a training run, but
at the end of the Red Hill Marathon, it’s known as
“Mount Genoa.”
Warm Welcome Appreciated
There are some brilliant marathons to pick from in
January, and it’s thus difficult to select a “January
best,” but Red Hill is without doubt the most beautiful
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Stuart’s blogs usually focus on his adventures (and sometimes misadventures)
while running marathons and ultra-marathons all over South Africa, and occasionally in other countries. He
recently fulfilled a lifetime goal of securing a shoe sponsorship from The Sweatshop Broadacres and Asics
South Africa (and a running kit sponsorship from Runderwear), thus allowing him to run more races and
share their stories. You can read his original blogs at http://runningmann.co.za, and follow him on social
media @runningmann100.
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ISSUE 128 MARCH 2020 / www.modernathlete.co.za
only dog ever to be officially enlisted in the Royal
Navy, can be found at the top of Red Hill.)