Modern Athlete Magazine Issue 119, June 2019 | Page 22

ROAD RUNNING
But that’s where running comes in. Running is
mindfulness. Running pulls you back into the actual
here and now. And there are other things it does too.
Trauma is all about a catastrophic loss of control.
I will never know why my attacker didn’t just finish
me off when I resisted. A quick knife to the stomach
and that would have been that. Or maybe, and I will
always wonder, did I knock the knife from his hand
as I pulled him to the ground? I will never know. But
I do know that in those moments when he stood
there kicking me, he could have done whatever he
wanted. And I would have been utterly powerless to
stop him.
running. It has helped them grieve; it has helped
them heal; it has given them freedom; it has renewed
and nurtured them; it has helped them move on,
re-emerge, reclaim their lives, and become stronger
people. These are fantastic people. Wonderful people.
Open. Warm. Wise. Generous. Brave. Just fabulous. I
am really hoping their stories will touch you as much
as they have touched me.
Healing Power
Running has been my therapy. I’d always run. Now I
knew why. And this book has been my therapy, too.
Through the book I have arrived at a much clearer
idea of what trauma does to you – and just why
running is so great at undoing it. Even now, more than
three years after I was knifed, there is still a large part
of my brain which is absolutely stuck on that Cape
Town pavement. It is 100 per cent not a memory. It is
an ever-present present, rerunning the whole time. It
is not an incident which has drifted off into the past. It
is completely now in my mind, and there are moments
still when it becomes overwhelming.
But that’s where running comes in again. Running
is about regaining control. You are back making
decisions. What colour running top? Left or right out
of the house? How fast I am going to go? Am I going
to really push it today, or just jog? And when shall I
come back? And best of all, you know that you will
come back with a fairly decent chance of getting to
sleep that night. Sleep is inevitably the first victim of
trauma. Once again, it’s running that can help you nod
off at night.
again where running can help, especially the sense of
community that running can bring.
Each and every one of the people I have interviewed
for Outrunning The Demons has taught me
something very special about moving on. But is
has been a special kind of moving on. You can’t
pretend something didn’t happen. You can never be
un-stabbed. But what you can do is learn to move
forward, to learn from your experiences and to re-
evaluate your life in the light of them.
I don’t regret what happened that day in Cape Town.
It has been incredibly tough, but at least I know
now what truly matters. And what matters is family,
community and friends. Togetherness. Other people.
And running. Oh my goodness. I can’t tell how much
it has helped. The greatest gift we can give ourselves.
Maybe that’s why I have really started to want to go
back to Cape Town...
Learning to Accept
It’s all about outrunning those demons – another
of which is isolation. There is nothing like being
stabbed for making you feel alone in the world. You
can be surrounded by love and care and support and
concern. You can be wrapped up in the very best
medical expertise. But stupidly, ungraciously and
probably understandably, it’s difficult not to think, “But
no one understands how I am feeling right now.” It’s
like you are in a glass jar, separated from a rest of the
world you can only watch.
And worst of all, you are watching yourself. PTSD
means a bizarre sense of distance from yourself. You
watch yourself struggle, you watch yourself suffer,
but a cruel part of your mind keeps telling yourself,
“Come on! Get over it! Man up! You survived! What
are you moaning about?” You become your own worst
enemy, and your own worst critic. And that’s once
Outrunning the Demons: Lives
Transformed through Running
By Phill Hewitt, author of Keep on Running:
The High and Lows of a Marathon Addict
Outrunning the Demons is an in-depth exposition of just why running can so often be the answer to everything when
we find ourselves in extremis. Written with insight and understanding – the author himself used running to rebuild
his life after being viciously mugged – the book covers the themes of trauma, bereavement, depression & anxiety,
addiction & alcoholism, violence/sexual abuse, long-term health conditions and eating disorders, and features
contributions from leading athletes and personalities, including Dean Karnazes.
While dealing with heavy, harrowing subjects, this powerfully compelling, engrossing and enriching book is
ultimately an uplifting and celebratory exploration of why running can be the key to overcoming traumatic
experiences and rebuilding lives.
The book retails for a recommended retail price of R300 and can be ordered online at www.loot.co.za/product/glyd-5284-ga00.
22
ISSUE 119 JUNE 2019 / www.modernathlete.co.za
Running can take us to fantastic places. Just as importantly, it can also bring us back from terrible ones... For people
in times of crisis, trauma and physical or mental illness, running is often the means by which they reconstruct fractured,
fragmented identity – or indeed the means to a new identity. When normality collapses, running can put it back
together again. In the very worst cases, it can actually create a new normality and offer us the chance to move on.