Modern Athlete Magazine Issue 118, May 2019 | Page 22

THE RUNNING MANN
surrounded by a dozen young ladies who joined our table. It turned out they were all
doing their healthcare community service year in Upington, and knew “The army that
William Booth founded” (Salvation Army), but not the name of “The recipient of Chris
Barnard’s first successful heart transplant”(Louis Washkansky). What Jonathan and
I lack in speed, we more than make up for with guile, and we managed to outsmart
the finest minds in Upington to win the Nedbank floating trophy. After a victorious
night, we retired to see what dramas the next day would hold.
Slow Start to the Day
Staying at the start venue allowed me the luxury of a few minutes extra sleep.
However, there was no hurry, anyway, as the race start was delayed by a few
minutes as the sound guy had ‘overslept.’ I think a wily, non-running hotel guest
wanting a peaceful lie-in slipped him a couple of casino chips to keep Raasbekkie
off the early morning mic!
As dawn broke, we headed out of the hotel grounds. After a short loop through
the suburbs, it wasn’t long before we could see the irrigation canals and hear the
rustling whispers from the Orange River. The race is timed to start so that there is
enough light by the time you reach the dirt track along the river, and a record field
of 38 marathon runners got to enjoy a magnificent African sunrise, whilst knowing
we’d probably be cursing the sun when we returned for the second lap. (There
were a further 66 runners in the half marathon, 47 in the 10km and 24 in the 5km.)
Wandering in the Desert
The Kalahari soil is arid but incredibly fertile, and with perpetual irrigation from the
Orange River, Upington is an emerald oasis in the middle of the desert – so much
so that this small slice of the country is known as the Green Kalahari. Vineyards
dominate much of the route and we came within 200m of the Orange River Cellars,
which produces some fine red and white wine, but it is their desert dessert wine
that stands out. Unfortunately, the cruelty of the route designers means you have to
wait until after the marathon to earn your pudding.
In addition to the vineyards, you also run past fields full of lucerne (alfalfa) and a
pecan nut plantation on a section that the local runners call “The Energy Lab.” And
if any additional energy or nutrients are needed, all the support tables were well
stocked with food and ice-cold drinks/water. The tables also proved that you are
what you eat, with the Food Lovers Market table providing delicious watermelon
and other freshly cut fruit, whilst the concrete and brick manufacturing Poort Beton
table laid down a 1kg slab of steak.
Now if you’ve read your Old Testament, you’ll know that Jewish men like to spend
long periods aimlessly wandering around the desert. It was in this spirit, and with
a light sprinkling of irony, that Jonathan contacted race director Russell Nugent
the week before the race to ask exactly how much time he would have to secure
an official finish. (Normally it’s the ref who gets asked, “How much time is left on
the clock?”) He was thrilled with the reply that, “You can take as long as you want
– we’ll keep the finish line open until you arrive back.” Jonathan eventually beat
Moses’ desert marathon time by the better part of 39 years, thereby securing the
penultimate finishing position and the completion of a life goal.
Done and Dusted
In keeping with the race theme, all finishers received a unique medal in the form
of a pair of spectacles, although I did reflect it was fortunate that the late John
Nugent chose optometry and not proctology as a profession. Then, there is only
one flight from Upington airport on a Saturday, and luckily for me this is a return to
Johannesburg with the departure perfectly timed to allow for a marathon, shower,
waiting for your mate to finish, a short drive to the airport and the consummation
of the coldest beer in the airport fridge, before heading back to a more temperate
climate.
The big question during the race was which would be higher, the temperature or
total number of marathon runners. I am pleased to say that we had a cool day
(in the mid-30s) and this was the first year that the number of runners beat the
temperature! With the heat and venomous creatures against you, the good news is
that the race profile is very flat, and the organisers do their best to include as much
shade as possible along the way.
A flat, double-lap route with out-and-back sections might not sound like the
most exciting prospect, but I never got bored. The town sections are short and
interesting enough, whilst the farm roads and jeep tracks that wind through
vineyards and plantations are lovely to run through, and the river section is simply
exquisite. There is just one hill, known locally as “Hellfire Pass,” a short climb
strategically positioned just 2km from the finish, thus ensuring that all finishers are
worthy of their medal.
As far as I know, finishing the John Nugent gives me a unique (and very minor)
claim to fame of being the first person to have run a marathon in all 17 of South
Africa’s athletics provinces (Transkei included). I have checked with all the other
‘marathon sluts’ I know and all have at least one conquest outstanding. However,
if you (or anyone you know) has already achieved this feat, please let me know, so
that you can get the credit due!
Thumbs up for another
marathon complete
22
ISSUE 118 MAY 2019 / www.modernathlete.co.za
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: This is a slightly reworked version of one of Stuart’s
regular running blogs, which focus on his adventures (and sometimes
misadventures) running marathons and ultra-marathons all over South Africa,
and occasionally in other countries. He says his lifetime goal is to attract a travel
sponsor through his running blogs, so that he can run more races and share
their stories. You can read the original blogs at http://runningmann.co.za, and
follow him on social media @runningmann100.
Hellfire Pass, strategically positioned 2km from the finish