Modern Athlete Magazine Issue 114, January 2019 | Page 25

ROAD RUNNING DOCTOR’S ORDERS Apparently, a glass of Coke with a spot of brandy at each water table not only enhances your stamina, it also gives you enough energy to keep going during the latter part of the marathon, said the doc as she poured me a tot. I breathlessly tried to explain that I don’t normally drink brandy, let alone during a race, but to no avail. The Doc adamantly swore by her secret ingredient, and so should I, so I took the path of least resistance… Perhaps I should explain that, although I aspire to be a serious runner, I’m definitely no serious drinker. I’ll consume the odd glass of wine here, and once in a while a beer there, but I do not consider a party where my wife must drive me home as a particularly successful one. Moreover, never in my life have I drunk any form of brandy, except the brandy my mother-in-law puts in her Christmas cakes. But, the Doc knows best… At first, everything seemed to go well. The scent of brandy and the strange taste sensation on my tongue provided the backdrop for an exciting new experience. I could almost feel the strength seeping down to my legs. This run was going to be awesome, my best marathon ever. Look out, Two Oceans, here I come! After the third water table, though, I started feeling slightly light-headed. It was as if my eyes began to glaze over, and my legs felt ever so slightly wobbly under me. I could not understand what was going on. Then it struck me: I was running on the Doc’s ‘secret supplement,’ and it wasn’t something I was used to. As a matter of fact, the collective amount of alcohol in my blood system was now adding up to a very serious predicament: How should I explain to the Doc that my ability to ingest small amounts of alcohol was of a way lesser nature than the average person? I now know what brandy and Coke tastes like. And at least the Doc completed her slow run in more than enough time before cut-off, eventually finishing ahead of a hundred other runners. END OF THE ROAD When we got to the sixth water table, which was not even at the halfway mark of the marathon yet, I gratefully spotted an ambulance waiting for the last runners to pass. Instantaneously I took the gap. I need to stop, I tried to explain to the Doc. I don’t feel well. It seems like indigestion. Or nausea. (Or anything sufficiently grave to merit a cowardly quit.) I couldn’t bring myself to explain that I was seeing double! I mean, how would it look if it came out that the ‘running pastor’ got hammered on a few drops of brandy during a race? Luckily, the Doc was quite understanding. After all, I was seriously impeding her slow run. We were second-to-last at that stage of the race, and my inability to keep up to her already slow pace must have been extremely frustrating. She left me to get in the ambulance, and I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. I had already imagined myself not finishing the run, as I was so inebriated I could not stand upright – and there were still many more watering tables ahead. That would have been quite the scandal! Later, while I waited at our club’s gazebo at the finish, another veteran of long runs told me nobody should ever change their race plan during a race. It’s a recipe for disaster, especially if it involves drinking stuff you never drank before. I found consolation in the fact that About the Author Guillaume is known as the ‘Running Pastor’ because he is a minister of religion at the Dutch Reformed Church’s Brackenfell West congregation in Cape Town, and is also a researcher at Stellenbosch University while pursuing post- graduate studies in psychology. We’ve run the numbers so you can run the race  Set along KwaZulu-Natal’s breath-taking Dolphin Coast, the Deloitte Challenge KZN promises to be the premier Comrades qualifying race of 2019. With a number of distances to choose from, the Deloitte Challenge KZN offers something for the whole family: Challenging you on Sunday, 17 March 2019 Event Start venue Start time Cost Limits Marathon (42.2 km) Lifestyle Centre, Ballito 06h00 R280 Age ≥ 20 years Half Marathon (21.1 km) Sibaya Casino, Durban 06h45 R230 Age ≥ 16 year Ten-K (10 km) Virginia Soccer Center, Virginia Airport Circle 07h00 R140 Age ≥ 14 years Fun Run (5 km) Amphitheatre, Durban Promenade 07h30 R70 Age: None Cycle Race (40 Km) Lifestyle Centre, Ballito 05h30 R280 Age: ≥ 16 years For more information visit www.deloittechallenge.co.za Enter online on www.championchip.co.za or at any Pick n Pay nationwide via Webtickets #ChallengingYouSince2015 Race office: 0800 11 759 | Race e-mail: [email protected] 25