6 RITCHIE MCCAWING
For those that don ’ t follow rugby , this means that the runner “ entered from the side ,” like New Zealand All Blacks legend Ritchie McCaw all too often did in matches . In other words , they joined the race along the route , and did not run the full distance . In this regard , I did receive a troubled message from a former Comrades runner that someone he knows started two kilometres into the race , based on Strava data .
Some commentators pointed out that she might just have forgotten to start her watch when the gun went off . Fortunately , after a series of direct messages and checking the data , I was able to clear things up and confirm that she definitely started the race . This analysis may also have saved a friendship , based on the feedback I received : “ Thank you very much , I appreciate the info . I am a very close friend of her husband – very glad now I haven ’ t said anything to him .”
7 SUPPOSITORIES
These are runners from slower batches that manage to start higher up in the field , even in the front with the elites , and are so named because they leave a bad smell as they push through from behind and cause major discomfort as they squeeze past patient runners waiting for the race to start . Although this is the mildest form of Comrades cheating , people that push themselves into places they aren ’ t supposed to go are a major pain in the arse .
This one is quite easy to check by comparing the actual start time with the runners ’ seeding batch . For example , without sneaking into a higher seeding pen or aggressively pushing past patient runners , there is no way a D seeded runner could cross the start mat in the first 10 seconds , or an H seeded runner in the first minute . The table below provides a heat map of the time taken to cross the start line by batch .
Looking at the detailed data , the most forceful start line suppositories are international runners and members of the SAPS running clubs ( I guess they think they can use their blue lights at the Comrades start ). There also seems to be a fairly high DNF rate amongst suppositories , as well as a low correlation to fast medals for their batch . For example , very few of the B suppositories earn a silver medal . This suggests that it ’ s better to save your energy for the race rather than rucking and mauling through the field before the gun fires .
The portly policeman in picture managed to cross the Comrades start line under 30 seconds despite being a G seed ( also notice how close the G and C race number font is ). This specific suppository DNFed
The graph below shows the number of runners by batch that crossed the start line in 30-second intervals . It ’ s interesting that by far the most ( over 1700 ) cross in the first 30 seconds , but after that there is a rapid drop-off down to a stable rate of just over 800 per 30 seconds from three minutes onwards . It ’ s unclear whether the drop-off is primarily due to congestion , or whether slow runners pushing further ahead than they should have a big impact on decreasing the throughput . However , what is clear is that for every additional 800 starters , those at the pack of the pack can expect to add 30 seconds to their start time .
As for suppositories who take things to the next level , I had a look at the race photos and it does appear that one H seeded runner converted the H into a B . Also , the G on the race numbers looked very similar to the C , so I expect several Gs sneaked into the C pen using this design flaw .
Why Do People Cheat ?
I suppose this leaves one final question ? Why would anyone , especially recreational runners , cheat at the Comrades Marathon ? Surely it is just cheating yourself ? It is really hard to understand what goes through the minds of these defective humans . For those that cheat on race day by tag teaming or taxiing , my only thought is that the cheat worries about the shame of facing friends and colleagues without a medal . I would think that the ignominy of being outed as a cheat would far outweigh any embarrassment of missing out on a medal . With time , people at your running club will forget that you didn ’ t finish Comrades 2022 , but you will be eternally remembered as the person who cheated at Comrades and dishonoured your running club .
The only other thing I can think of is that people presume that they will get away with cheating . This article is my contribution to ensure that they don ’ t . Meanwhile , there seems to be an appetite within the new KwaZulu-Natal Athletics administration to eradicate all forms of cheating at Comrades . Here ’ s hoping that the defective humans are removed from our roads , and that if I do have to write a follow-up article after the 2023 event , it is a lot shorter than this one .
About the Author
The Running Mann has run over 240 marathons and ultras around the world , and his current mission is to run every marathon in South Africa , so he is particularly looking forward to running the 45k Timbavati Traverse on 9 July . If you ’ d like him to run your race or talk at your event , email therunningmann @ gmail . com . You can follow his adventures on Twitter , Facebook or Instagram , and on his popular blog .
Images : Marathonphoto . com and courtesy Stuart Mann , Thabang Selemela
26 ISSUE 155 | www . modernathlete . co . za