prepared for it and I got my own sock stuffed in my mouth.“ Don’ t you dare try to scream bitch.” His voice echoed in my head, and I recognized it. The struggle began. I fought hard, kicking my legs who were still free from his grip, and I tried to wiggle my arms free. The guy cursed under his breath as I managed to kick him, he sat on my chest and slammed my head against the floor once more. He hit me in the face, spitting out that I deserved it. The guy had his hands around my neck and squeezed hard, at this point the tears were streaming down my face, and I was babbling. Begging. My own sock was refraining me from speaking however, and as I felt my shirt getting ripped from my body, I never felt so humiliated. Restrained against the floor like an animal, my own stuff using against me. The guy was groping my breasts, and I had no energy to fight anymore. I laid there, dead still, as he used me as his play thing. He ordered me to stop crying as he was painfully pulling my pants down, I tried to kick my legs again, but another hit against the head stopped my trying all together. Tearing my panties off, he forced himself upon me. I heard his belt, and all I knew was that I wanted it to be over. The guy cursed again, blaming me I was dry. I started crying again. I was a virgin. Again he told me to stop crying, and he entered me. I heard something tear, and a massive pain wave washed over me. Somewhere between I lost my consciousness. Skye found me that night, I woke up in the hospital. The first thing I emotionally felt was guilt, guilt that Skye had to find me like that, guilt that I would never be able to offer a boy my first time, guilt that my parents would regret their decision to let me go for the rest of their life. It turned out my best friend at the time, Maia, thought it would be funny to tell the guy where our tent was. In the hospital I had to undergo multiple tests, with multiple doctors, and I felt so ashamed after that when I had the change to shower I scrubbed my skin away. I pressed charges against the guy, but he didn’ t get convicted. According to the police, all the evidence was circumstantial. This happened to me 3 years ago, and I’ m still in therapy for it. I have a boyfriend now, who supports me completely. Skye and I are still best friends, and I want to thank her for all the support she has offered me throughout these years. I am telling my story because I want to convey that rape jokes are not okay. Saying a girl is playing hard to get is not okay. No means no. Don’ t make rape okay by making jokes about it. Start teaching“ Rape is not okay.” Instead of“ Don’ t get raped.” ■
TEXT: Romi Vergers