“Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.”
– Buddha
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disputing negative thoughts
Self-Compassion Exercise 3
Goal: Every time you notice a negative thought, check if it is accurate. If it is not, replace it with a positive thought
Time: 20-30 minutes
By replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, it is possible to greatly enhance your mood and sense of well-being. Human beings have a tendency to focus much more on negative thoughts than positive ones. Sometimes it is rational and necessary to think about negative things in order to improve them, or to avoid repeating mistakes. It is often the case, however, that people are thinking about negative things in an irrational manner. A simple, common example is a thought like, "I always screw everything up." Is it really the case that every time this person has ever attempted anything they have failed? Obviously not. They somehow have managed to make it this far, which means that they have succeeded much more often than not. So the thought, "I always screw everything up" is actually an exaggeration.
You may not think this kind of exaggeration is a big deal, but actually thoughts of this kind can cause people to become unhappy, anxious, and depressed. Our thoughts affect our feelings, and negative thoughts that are exaggerated have exaggerated effects. Imagine the emotional effect of the same thought if it changed to something more accurate, such as, "I sometimes screw things up." Even this slight change to a more correct assessment already makes the thought less negatively charged. The idea behind the Disputing Negative Thoughts technique, then, is to "listen" to the thoughts in your head, and to evaluate their accuracy. If a thought is not accurate or rational, you replace it with one that is more positive. Over time, this will make your emotional state more positive in general. It also allows you to respond to situations in a more helpful manner.