Inhale . Exhale . Be present . My motto for my mindfulness practice . Every night , I sit on the floor of my bedroom , close my eyes , and take a deep breath . Inhale . Exhale . Repeat . I reflect on the day , let go of the negative , and feel ready for rest . I prepare my mind and body to refuel so I can take on the next day with a clear headspace . But it wasn ’ t always this way . Before being mindful , I was “ mindfull .” My mind was clouded with depression . My mind was taken over by anxiety . As you inhale , exhale , repeat , and read , let me rewind to when it all started .
It was a chilly , dreary day in December during my senior year of high school . Dark clouds began to gather . The entire sky turned black , as if it knew the impending doom . I was on the verge of losing someone close to me . The realization that mental illness could be so severe that it could take someone ’ s life sank in . This was my reminder that life is precious . After this traumatic time , I was drawn into a path of depression that affected me for years .
Fast forward , I graduated from college , ready to learn as much as I could during my “ gap ” year as I applied to dental school . A few months into working , I began to experience anxiety . My anxiety was silent during the day . I remained my bubbly , energetic , carefree self as I worked in a private dental practice , completing an internship that would ideally help prepare me for the rigors of dental school . But when night came , my anxiety emerged . Night after night , I began to wake up screaming , sweating , tossing and turning from nightmares that seemed all too real .
Instead of facing my own stresses head on , I would preach to others about the importance of self-care and self-compassion and would push my fears further down , buried under a smiling face and cheerful demeanor . When I entered dental school , I could not have predicted how my life events would impact my schoolwork , my professional development , my relationships and my view of myself .
During my third year of dental school , after burnout from constant studying , experiencing imposter syndrome in clinic , and losing control of my ability to manage my time , I realized that I was truly unwell . I sought formal treatment , as I needed . However , in addition to this , I decided it was time to make lifestyle changes to better my overall well-being . I understood that the habits I would form in school would affect my professional life .
It was then that I turned to mindful meditation to ease my worries , improve the quality of my sleep , and allow me to better control my own thoughts . It was through meditation that I learned not to judge myself for my thoughts but rather to appreciate the present moment and become more aware . Instead of analyzing the past or fearing for the future , I decided it was time for me to be present .
To me , being present meant actively listening to my patients , rather than pondering a previous conversation I had with a friend . Being present to me meant taking a break to eat and savor lunch , rather than feeling guilty for not completing another task on my never-ending to-do list . Being present to me meant committing to a workout and focusing on challenging myself , rather than trying to compare myself with others . Being present changed my entire life . I began to feel less stressed when completing my daily tasks . I began to improve my sleep hygiene and reduce my anxiety . I began to implement the self-care tactics I so strongly preached about to others , from preparing meals at home to exercising regularly to journaling daily . I created more useful time during the day by allowing myself to decompress through meditation .
Being present allowed me to appreciate the genuine connections I had built with my own healthcare providers , family , friends , colleagues and patients . Being present allowed me to learn from the difficulties that inevitably come with being a dentist . Being present allowed me to have time for myself to do the things that I enjoy doing outside of dentistry . As a new dentist , my transition into my career was filled with support , learning , and challenges I felt I could overcome because of the new habits I had implemented and the relationships I had built .
In our profession , we are responsible for providing care to our patients , but we cannot take care of others if we do not take care of ourselves . And taking care of ourselves requires us to be present . Inhale . Exhale . Be present . I have committed myself to being positive , being prepared , and being present , and my life has changed for the better .
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr . Roopali Kulkarni is full-time faculty in the Department of Oral Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania School of Dental Medicine . She obtained both her DMD and Master of Public Health ( MPH ) degrees from the University of Pennsylvania in 2019 . She went on to complete her postgraduate residency in Oral Medicine in 2021 at the University of Pennsylvania , serving as Chief Resident her second year . Throughout dental school , she was actively involved in organized dentistry , most notably serving as the American Student Dental Association national President from 2018-2019 . Currently , she serves as a national media spokesperson for the American Dental Association , Chair of the Pennsylvania Dental Association New Dentist Committee , and on the Philadelphia County Dental Society Board of Governors . She is an active member of the American Dental Education Association and the American Academy of Oral Medicine .
SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2022 | PENNSYLVANIA DENTAL JOURNAL 19