Millburn-Short Hills Magazine Back to School 2017 | Page 34

education
Concern:
SHE LOOKS TO THE ONLINE
WORLD FOR VALIDATION,
WHICH CREATES ANXIETY.
What helps:
ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO SHARE HER THOUGHTS AND
FEELINGS WITH YOU
It’s common for kids to compare themselves to friends online, a
practice that can lead to unnecessarily negative assumptions. Some
call this the “duck syndrome”–things look smooth on the surface,
but under the water, the legs are working frantically. Upsetting mes-
sages and images can send kids’ moods spiraling downward, detract-
ing from not only their enjoyment of life, but time that would be
devoted to schoolwork. “If you’re doing your homework but check-
ing ‘likes’ at the same time, how much are you concentrating?” says
Distel. The best antidote, she says, is to point out that the “likes” on
social media are often superficial and fleeting. “It’s more important
that they learn to ‘like’ themselves, in the sense that they know what
they like, respect and value about themselves, and are willing to
provide their own positive reinforcement, rather than rely solely on
external reinforcements,” she says. “You want to help them be aware
of their feelings, to be able to label them, and to understand how
they affect their behavior. Knowing what they value about them-
selves and building a secure sense of self is not subject to the whims
of trends and peer pressure from other kids.”
Concern:
SOCIAL MEDIA MOVES SO FAST THAT IT’S SHORTENING
MY CHILD’S ATTENTION SPAN.
Since social media is interactive and information comes in fast snip-
pets, educators and parents are giving a lot of thought to how kids
can slow down their minds and bodies, and focus enough to absorb
longer reading materials and complex lessons. They also want to
help students combat the anxiety that comes from worrying about
social status. “I’m using mindfulness-based stress reduction tech-
niques more and more to reduce anxiety and depression among the
adults and kids I work with,” Distel says. “Using meditation allows
your nervous system to rest and reset.” Physical activity raises help-
ful endorphin levels, she says, and reduces stress. Another tip:
Getting off of screens a half-hour before bed prevents over-stimu-
lated emotions that interfere with sleep.
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BACK TO SCHOOL 2017 MILLBURN & SHORT HILLS MAGAZINE
Concern:
THEY THINK I HATE ALL SOCIAL MEDIA.
What helps:
GETTING TO KNOW WHAT’S OUT THERE
You know that social media can be a force for good. Peers can help with
research and share helpful real-time feedback. Multi-player games, such as
Minecraft, in which players build constructions out of textured cubes,
teach spatial relations while fostering friendships; games such as Roller
Coaster Tycoon can improve spatial and organizational skills. Here’s a chal-
lenge: Familiarize yourself with this part of their world. Your kids will see
you as someone who’s an honest broker, and knows what she’s talking
about. ■
What helps:
TEACHING THEM HOW TO SLOW DOWN