Military Review English Edition January-February 2015 | Page 90

(Photo by Sgt. Trey Harvey, 4th Infantry Division PAO)

A U.S. Army staff sergeant of 4th Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, shakes hands with a local man, Afghanistan, 18 April 2012.

predeployment training were most beneficial, Maj. Robert
L. Reed answered,
The language. To gain their respect right off the
bat was the main thing we needed to do because
they [the indigenous stakeholders] don’t trust
you from anything; they don’t know you. As
soon as you can gain their respect they’ll do
anything for you. To be able to go in there and
[speak] just the key phrases like, “Hello. How
are you? How is your day?” Things like that
were huge.31
Overall, the findings suggested that for confidence
building to succeed, a soldier should open the lines of
communication, speak as well as listen, and help identify
and solve problems using appropriate communication
tools.32
Relationship measures. Relationship measures are
activities that improve interpersonal connections. They
can range from sharing food or drink, to learning about
the other person, to showing patience and understanding.
Professionally, a service member should strive to learn
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from the other party and accept a way of doing things
that may be inconsistent with how the service member
personally believes things should happen.33 For example,
in a 2010 OLE interview, Maj. Taly Velez explained,
Our reception in the Aburisha Brigade turned
out to be a good one, mainly, if I should say, [it]
was due to us taking the time to build relationships with them and not dictate how things
were going to be. Once we gained their trust,
they were willing to do anything for us. I think
that was what made our and their success a
great one.34
When asked what recommendation he would make to
Army, Velez said, “Personal relationships. That’s probably
the key to everything.”35
Soldiers may want to consider sharing some personal
details about their lives, treating local people as peers,
and most important, admitting when they have made a
mistake. If relationships between any two humans involve
a continual give and take, with risk and reward, relationships in this context are no different.36
January-February 2015  MILITARY REVIEW