MG Car Club of South Australia
MGC NEWS
MGC conversations with Richard Mixture, October 2018
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Smoke makes the lights go on! ello again, it’ s Richard here. The“ Antique Automobile Club America”, God bless their little socks, published this wonderful piece of scientific logic all about things British and MG Experience has published it as well. So, I thought, why shouldn’ t we do it too?
They called it“ ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS”
I’ m sure it had nothing to do with Joe Lucas( 1834-1902) but was the recorded mutterings of some Octagonafiles with plenty of time of their hands and little else to do. It probably happen at night when you consider that slogan attributed to Lucas Electrics, " A gentleman does not motor about after dark." These gentlemen can’ t possibly be English Gentlemen, can they? Anyway, it goes like this;
“ Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as " smoke ". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.
For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly after ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
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The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defence secrets.
Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.”
“ the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as " smoke "? Surely this phase is creative writing at its best. There are several creative, SA Car Club members that come to mind whose short circuit brains can put words together in such an innovative way and one of them owns an MGC!