life , because I know that he never really had anything to give me and he probably did the best he could with what he had .
You see , there ’ s a difference to his circumstances and giving a child up voluntarily . My parents didn ’ t have it easy . They had to get married after falling pregnant with me , and they did so on Boxing Day . Unfortunately , they spent their entire short marriage boxing each other ! To forgive is to move on and to become a stronger person ; this in itself is success . Of course , even when you forgive you don ’ t necessarily forget . It can come back to haunt you . The trick is , not to let it beat you when it does .
My mother went on to create a very successful career . She became extremely wealthy , working with one of the first companies of its kind in Australia . She remarried and ended up retiring in her 40s . Then , her husband went on to complete further studies , which eventually led him to become one of Queensland ’ s leading barristers – and he still is .
From the age of 8 to 25 years I hardly spoke to my mother or had anything to do with her . My grandparents had adopted me and so they became my legal parents . I spent my life being pulled from pillar to post and I really wanted it to stop . My grandparent ’ s youngest son ( my father ’ s brother ) lived with us and unfortunately , he went on to cause my grandparents the same grief as my father . He dragged my grandparent ’ s into his troubles , including a broken marriage , alcohol , drugs and the like . Even to this day I can still clearly see the anger on his face as I recall him yelling at us in the house .
My grandparents both died from cancer – Nan in 1985 and Pop in 1997 . It was at this point I moved away from communicating with my uncle .
I remember the police coming over , one time while I was staying with him . He died at age 49 ; dropped dead unexpectedly while at the letterbox . He was living in my grandparent ’ s house and I found out about his death by accident several years after it had happened .
At this point in time , I had my own three children and I couldn ’ t and wouldn ’ t allow this type of person into my family ; actually , it was my husband Brad who was the force there – he wouldn ’ t allow any more preventable grief and pain into my life .
My grandparents were alive when I met Brad ; I was 15 and we met while rollerskating ! We were engaged at 18 and shortly afterwards I gave birth to our son , who passed away not long after .
When I was seven months pregnant , I became extremely ill with eclampsia . I was taken to the Royal Women ’ s Hospital one day , as my blood pressure went sky high . I was sharing a room with three other ladies who also all had problems with their pregnancy , but I remember they were a lot older than me . They told me all these horror stories about their first pregnancies . Why do people do that ?
The next thing I knew the nurses were ringing my family to say at 34 weeks I was going to be induced . And before I knew what was happening my waters were broken and drips were inserted . It was all very scary and overwhelming for an 18-year-old . My Nan and Brad were there , and my granddad was travelling back from interstate . Thirty eight hours later , and they performed an emergency caesarian . I still remember them sprinting down the hallway with me on a trolley , asking me to tell them my name and them stripping the nail polish off my fingers . I also recall the head professor yelling at the two doctors “ why didn ’ t you get her up here earlier ?” and that was it .
I woke to a nurse asking me whether I remembered what
4 FROM SURVIVING TO THRIVING : THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MEL TEMPEST