From an upbringing filled with rejection , violence , constant struggle , limited education and being bounced from school to school , life has been far from easy for me and my family .
I feel sorry for people who still correct my English these days they have so much more to learn about life . A father who couldn ’ t tell true from false , his brother no better , grandparents who did the best they could with what they had , getting married young , no mother or father at your wedding , the struggle and fight that goes with all that . You always know where you stand with a thief but never a liar , like I said I forgive but I don ’ t forget .
Both Brad and I have always wanted our children to have more than had been given to us . I tell my kids stories about when I use to only have $ 25 to buy groceries and half of it went on baby formula . Brad and I ate frozen pies and mashed potatoes so our kids could go to private school . When my grandfather was alive he would deliberately overcook so we could take food home . I remember the times the electricity and the phone were cut off ; the stress and struggle as a couple was tough and unless you have lived it you won ’ t truly understand .
What our parents created for us was not our fault . But I refused to become a product of that environment . We were children having children but we knew no better and nobody told us there was more to life than what we had , so we knew no differently . What we did know , however , was that we could never give up . Of course there were times when walking away seemed the easier option , but what would we walk towards ? We owed it to ourselves , as humans , to avoid repeating the cycle .
For many years we lived on $ 350 a week ( including overtime ), paying for a house and schooling for the kids . We drove around in a car that had different coloured panels . We made it work . Thankfully , Brad has an amazing work ethic and he ’ s never let us down .
My in-laws have not provided us with any help or assistance . I ’ ve never received a birthday card from them , they ’ ve never opened their home or arms to me . Even when we lost our first child , we never heard from them . A once-a-year visit is enough for me , although Brad does the right thing and visits them and our kids are adults now so they decide for themselves how much interaction they want to have with their grandparents . We are better human beings ; we will not lower ourselves to their acceptance just so they can feel better about themselves .
Like everyone , I ’ ve made good and bad decisions in my life , but I regret nothing . For me , life is about experience , taking leaps of faith and being accountable . When you ’ re young , this can take a while to master , although sadly , some people never learn it at all and spend their whole lives pointing the finger at others .
Remember that you control the air you breathe and , therefore , you can control who you want to be .
In April 2013 , 47 years into my journey I was diagnosed with a benign brain tumour . It ’ s located in the middle of my head , right behind my eye . This was also at the same time I was parting ways with Radical Fitness , so it all happened at the same time I was losing $ 40K of income . As you can imagine , I had a few of those “ come on , give me a break ” moments as I came to terms with everything that was going on !
My biggest fear is the unknown , so when this all happened at once it really tested my strength . But it also gave me a real sense of clarity . Nowadays , when I teach a class and I look out at the group and wonder how my life could ever not include teaching . When I talk to others to encourage them taking their own leaps of faith , they often postpone the risk , assuming they can do it “ later ”. But what if there is no later ?
When the wrong words come out of my mouth , I now have to wonder if it ’ s the brain tumour at play , or did I just get mixed up like everyone else sometimes does ? The key is to laugh at myself – after all , I ’ m only human !
At least these days , I don ’ t wake up in the middle of the night gasping for breath due to fear and anxiety . My neurosurgeon
10 FROM SURVIVING TO THRIVING : THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MEL TEMPEST