Practice Management
Make Yourself Right at Home ...
This insight into the life in a busy general practice is written anonymously but speaks for the many !
Welcome to our practice . The following are some suggestions of how to make things most pleasant for our staff .
As you have already figured out , your scheduled appointment time is just a suggestion . Feel free to ignore it and do as you please .
If you are not going to show up , please do not call . We like the suspense of trying to figure out what you are going to do . Sometimes we run bets on it . So as you can see , calling and informing us of your intentions would just take the fun out of our day .
Verbal abuse is always appreciated . If possible , wait till the waiting room is full . Please be creative in your profanity , we all like to expand our vocabulary .
Bring as many small children as possible . Three or more is preferred . If you don ' t have that many , borrow from your neighbours ( look for the most poorly behaved ). Make sure they all have juice and crayons because we love to clean . Also , we encourage them to jump on the furniture , play rough , and go through the drawers .
Do not bring any prior records as we request . Calling other clinics gives us time to catch up with old friends .
Please feel free to stay on your cell phone . Handless headsets are preferred because it really makes it challenging to figure out if you are talking to us or the person on the phone . Make sure to call back later and ask us questions about all the things we were trying to explain .
Be sure to insist we follow your neighbour ' s recommendations – especially about anaesthesia and operations . Our schooling and training really don ' t teach us much , so we appreciate the guidance .
Give medications as you see fit . Instruction labels are only put on because the label printer is cool . We understand that when your pain doesn ' t resolve it is our fault not yours .
Ignore the ' employees only ' signs . Just wander around as you please .
If you think that you have an infection of any kind please wait a minimum of three days before being seen . Also , be sure to exhaust all treatments available over the counter before calling for an appointment . Oh , and 10 minutes before closing on a Friday is the perfect time to call and tell us you ' re in trouble .
Always complain about the bill . We know our prices are too high . In general , we tend to be greedy and don ' t care .
Please be sure to let us know of all illnesses you THINK you may have because you looked it up online . Then be sure to dictate to us how you should be cared for .
We look forward to caring for you . If you have any suggestions as to what we can do to make life easier for you and more difficult for us , please do not hesitate to let us know . �
RING
BELLS ?
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