Practice Management
Make Yourself Right at Home...
This insight into the life in a busy general practice is written anonymously but speaks for the many!
Welcome to our practice. The following are some suggestions of how to make things most pleasant for our staff.
As you have already figured out, your scheduled appointment time is just a suggestion. Feel free to ignore it and do as you please.
If you are not going to show up, please do not call. We like the suspense of trying to figure out what you are going to do. Sometimes we run bets on it. So as you can see, calling and informing us of your intentions would just take the fun out of our day.
Verbal abuse is always appreciated. If possible, wait till the waiting room is full. Please be creative in your profanity, we all like to expand our vocabulary.
Bring as many small children as possible. Three or more is preferred. If you don ' t have that many, borrow from your neighbours( look for the most poorly behaved). Make sure they all have juice and crayons because we love to clean. Also, we encourage them to jump on the furniture, play rough, and go through the drawers.
Do not bring any prior records as we request. Calling other clinics gives us time to catch up with old friends.
Please feel free to stay on your cell phone. Handless headsets are preferred because it really makes it challenging to figure out if you are talking to us or the person on the phone. Make sure to call back later and ask us questions about all the things we were trying to explain.
Be sure to insist we follow your neighbour ' s recommendations – especially about anaesthesia and operations. Our schooling and training really don ' t teach us much, so we appreciate the guidance.
Give medications as you see fit. Instruction labels are only put on because the label printer is cool. We understand that when your pain doesn ' t resolve it is our fault not yours.
Ignore the ' employees only ' signs. Just wander around as you please.
If you think that you have an infection of any kind please wait a minimum of three days before being seen. Also, be sure to exhaust all treatments available over the counter before calling for an appointment. Oh, and 10 minutes before closing on a Friday is the perfect time to call and tell us you ' re in trouble.
Always complain about the bill. We know our prices are too high. In general, we tend to be greedy and don ' t care.
Please be sure to let us know of all illnesses you THINK you may have because you looked it up online. Then be sure to dictate to us how you should be cared for.
We look forward to caring for you. If you have any suggestions as to what we can do to make life easier for you and more difficult for us, please do not hesitate to let us know. �
RING
BELLS?
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