Everybody knows that parents shouldn’t have a favorite child. Parents should treat their children equally. In Parshat Toldot, both parents have favorites: Yitzchak favors Eisav, and Rivka favors Yaakov. Yaakov is Hashem’s chosen one, so is it okay for Rivka to favor Yaakov? I’m the youngest of three older brothers and I think I’m the favorite. Is favoritism ever right?
I think it’s okay as long as it’s for me.
In the beginning of Parshat Toldot, Rivka is barren so she davens to Hashem, and she becomes pregnant. There is a lot of movement inside of her stomach, and when she asks Hashem about this, she is told that she is going to have twins of two different nations, and the older will serve the younger. Then Rivka gives birth to Yaakov and Eisav. Eisav is older, and very hairy and red. Yaakov comes after, and he is holding onto Eisav’s heel. Eisav becomes a hunter, and Yaakov learns Torah. Eisav sells his birthright to Yaakov for a bowl of soup.
There is a famine and Yitzchak and Rivka go down to Gerar to Avimelech for food. Hashem comes to Yitzchak in a dream and tells him that He will bless him. Yitzchak pretends that Rivka is his sister because he is afraid they will kill him in order to take her. Avimelech sees Rivka and Yitzchak and he realizes Rivka is Yitzchak’s wife not his sister. He calls Yitzchak in and accuses him of lying. Avimelech says that someone could have taken Rivka.
Yitzchak becomes a rich man in Eretz Plishtim because of the blessing from Hashem. Yitzchak reopens Avraham’s wells, Avimelch and Yitzchak make a treaty to leave the wells alone. Rivka tells Yaakov that she overheard that Yitzchak is planning to give a blessing to Eisav but she thinks that Yaakov is the one who deserves it. She makes a plan for Yaakov to fool Yitzchak and get the Bracha. Yaakov is afraid that Yitzchak might catch him and says to Rivkah: “Perhaps my father will feel me, and I shall seem in his eyes as a mocker; and I shall bring upon me a curse, and not a blessing.” Rivka tells Yaakov that his curse will be on her so he goes on with the plan. Rivka cooks the food and Yaakov dresses in Eisav’s clothes, they put fur on Yaakov’s arms and neck. Yaakov brings the food to Yitzchak and pretends to be Eisav. Before he eats, Yitzchak asks him to come close so he can feel him to tell if it is really Eisav. After feeling him, Yitzchak seems to be suspicious and says: “The voice is the voice of Yaakov but the hands are the hands of Eisav.” Yitzchak didn’t recognize Yaakov because of the furry arms and neck so Yitzchak blesses Yaakov.
Did Yitzchak really know it was Yaakov and not Eisav? From the pshat, it doesn’t seem like Yitzchak knew that it was really Yaakov that he was blessing. Some Mephorashim say he really did know because afterwards Yitzchak says
“He also should be blessed.”
Eisav returns with a meal for his father and finds out what happened and he screams out and cries. Eisav decides that he will kill his brother after his father dies. Rivka fears for Yaakov’s life and tells Yitzchak that they should send Yaakov to her brother’s house, far away from Eisav.
It’s interesting that a parsha that begins with Yitzchak telling his wife to pretend she’s not who she is, ends with Yitzchak being tricked by his wife into believing Yaakov is not who he really is. Maybe she learned the concept of pretending to be somebody you aren’t from when they went to Gerar and Yitzchak told her to say she was his sister.
Even though Rivka was told about Eisav’s future, Eisav still had a choice to change but because he refused to change his ways, he was punished. Eisav blames Yaakov for everything. Rabbi Lam feels that it is Eisav’s fault. He also thinks that Yitzchak is easily fooled by Eisav because Yitzchak loves him and wants Eisav to succeed. Rabbi Lam thinks that Rivka is right about both her sons because she sees Yaakov and Eisav for who they really are, unlike Yitzchak who doesn’t want to see Eisav’s true colors. Eisav is so bad that even his father’s belief and love isn’t enough to get him to make the right choices.
I learned from this parsha that you have to face a problem in order to fix it. Sometimes my friends have misunderstandings with each other or with me. Then they go around talking about the misunderstanding or fight with all the other girls in the group, except for the person they are having the problem with. Of course this doesn’t fix anything; it just makes it worse. I like to talk straight with the person and that usually ends the fight much sooner. I think some people just like the attention and the drama. Yitzchak doesn’t talk to Eisav and try to convince him do the right things. A lot of people walk away from problems and don’t try to resolve them. I also learned that parents who choose favorites amongst their children are very wrong and that they should love all their children equally.
same as bein (son) (Rashi). (2) had all a man wants – riches, longevity, honor and children (Ramban). (3) had a daughter named “Bakol”, fulfilling mitzvat peru u-revu by fathering a son and daughter; (4) was blessed by not having a daughter, since there would be no appropriate man for her to marry; (5) had astrological skills which kings far and wide consulted; (6) owned a precious stone that cured sick people; (7) saw Yishmael’s teshuva; (8) was free of the yeitzer hara; (9) was blessed with a lifespan shortened by 5 years, from 180 to 175 years and did not see his grandson Eisav sin (Bava Batra 16b). (10) had the Shechina dwelling within him (Zohar Chadash). (c) (1) (i) By marrying a Charanit, Yitzchak’s wife would be far from her family, who could not influence her (Kli Yakar). (ii) The Cana’anim, unlike the Charanim, were cursed – they were unsuited as mates for Avraham’s blessed offspring (Ohr haChaim). (iii) The Cana’anim, unlike the Charanim, were morally corrupt – Hashem gave Eretz Yisrael to Avraham’s offspring to live with the Torah’s morality, without letting Cana’ani immorality seep into his family (Meshech Chochma). (iv) Avraham wanted it known that his offspring acquired Eretz Yisrael through Hashem’s promise, not by intermarrying with the Cana’anim. (2) As a result of the akeida, Yitzchak was an “ola temima” (a perfect offering to Hashem), who could not leave the holy land (Chizkuni).
Parashat Toldot
by Kayla Friedman, 8G