non-fiction book of the month
BECAUSE I LOVE HIM
Ashlee Donohue
$ 27.99 $ 23.99
Because I Love Him , written by Ashlee Donohue , is the Collins Non-Fiction Book of the Month . A searing portrayal of a woman ’ s experience of domestic violence , this memoir sensitively portrays the complications of love and social expectations of our communities . The story that unfolds is confronting yet incredibly engaging , and we were inspired by her honesty and compassion . Donohue , a proud Dunghutti woman , is dedicated to raising awareness of domestic and family violence and the status of women . This is an important story from an influential voice , and we know it will resonate with readers . For every copy sold of Because I Love You during May , Collins Booksellers will donate $ 1 to the Mudgin-Gal , a family violence prevention and support service run by Aboriginal women and the author ’ s charity of choice . If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence , find support by calling 1800 RESPECT ( 1800 737 732 ).
Congratulations on being the Collins Non-Fiction Book of the Month ! Can you tell us a bit about Because I Love Him ?
Because I Love Him delves deep into the complexities of love , abuse , violence , and motherhood . My aim was to give readers an intimate portrayal of my journey through a 15-year abusive relationship . It also explores the intricate dynamics that kept me trapped in this cycle , shedding light on the psychological , emotional , and societal factors at play . I wanted to be as candid , raw and vulnerable in my own voice . My book aims to dismantle stereotypes surrounding abusive relationships and ignite conversations about the issue of domestic violence . I ’ m hoping my story is a testament to my resilience , self-discovery , and the power of breaking free from toxic patterns in pursuit of a life filled with love and empowerment .
Your advocacy work has focused on spreading the message of nonviolence . Has your story always been something you ’ ve wanted to turn into a book ?
Only after I was free from the relationship did I feel compelled to share , but it took time for me to find the right moment and headspace to do so . After struggling with finding the right counsellor and feeling the weight of my experiences weighing heavily on my mind , I realised that writing a book could be a cathartic release , a way to organise my thoughts and emotions . However , it wasn ’ t until I found myself presented with the opportunity to spend a month in Bali to focus solely on writing that I truly felt ready to write . It felt like the universe aligning , a sign that it was finally time to pour my story onto the pages and share it with the world . Through the process of writing Because I Love Him , I found healing , purpose , and a newfound determination to advocate for non-violence and empower others who may be enduring similar struggles .
Your book is confronting yet utterly compelling . How did you craft such an emotionally complex but approachable narrative ?
Crafting the emotionally complex yet approachable narrative of my book was a process of simply delving into my memories and letting them flow onto the page . During the writer ’ s retreat , I adhered to a daily word count requirement , which pushed me to write whatever memories surfaced each day . Without any type of structure or chapters , I allowed myself to write freely , capturing each memory as it came to me . Reading back my words for the first time was a surreal experience ; it felt as though I had written them in a trance of trauma . The process was incredibly emotional , with tears accompanying me daily as I poured my heart onto the pages .
Because I Love Him is described as your ‘ journey from wounds to wisdom ’. Did the writing process play a part in that journey ?
Absolutely . Writing Because I Love Him was not just about putting my experiences on paper ; it was a transformative journey . As I dived into the depths of my memories and emotions , I found myself confronting longsuppressed traumas and facing the harsh realities of my past . Each word I wrote became a step towards healing , unravelling and acknowledging the pain and confusion that had held me back and kept me trapped for so long .
The writing process allowed me to express and release the pent-up emotions that had been simmering inside me . It provided a safe space for me to explore my vulnerabilities and confront the harsh truths of my past . Through this journey , I gained a newfound sense of clarity and self-awareness , gradually transforming my pain into power and my wounds into wisdom .
Without the cathartic release that writing provided , I doubt I would be where I am today , actively engaged in the vital work of advocating for survivors of domestic and family violence . My book not only shares my story but also serves as a beacon of hope for those who may be enduring similar struggles . It ’ s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of storytelling .
This is a book about love ; both the devastation it can wreak and the power it has to heal . What role does love play in your life now ?
Love has always been the heartbeat of my life , regardless of what I was going through . It ’ s funny I was only talking about love the other day with my two grown children and my six grandchildren and I said ‘ If the only people who ever love me are the ones here with me right now , I will die a happy woman ’ and I will . Sitting with my grown children and grandchildren , surrounded by the warmth of their love , I was reminded that love is the most real and precious aspect of life .
While society often romanticises intimate love , I ’ ve come to cherish the love that surrounds me in all its forms – the bonds of family , the camaraderie of friends , and the unwavering loyalty of pets . These connections are my anchor , grounding me in times of need and lifting me higher in moments of joy .
With this said , I still hold ambitions of finding true , intimate love and perhaps even marrying again . My past experiences have not dampened my belief in the transformative power of love . Ronny ’ s story may have been a significant chapter in my life , but I believe there are more love stories yet to be written . And so , I remain open to the possibility of love ’ s embrace , knowing that each new chapter holds the promise of growth , healing , and deeper connection .
What do you hope readers will get out of this book ?
I hope readers will find solace and validation in my story , recognising that they are not alone in their struggles . Through sharing my experiences , I aim to provide a mirror for readers to see themselves reflected in , offering a sense of connection and understanding . Whether they are currently navigating through abuse or are survivors themselves , I want them to know that there is hope and support available . No one should have to endure such hardships in silence , and by opening up about my journey , I hope to inspire others to seek help , find their strength , and embark on their own paths to healing and empowerment .
Do you have any writing projects that you ’ re working on ?
Yes , I do have a few ideas swirling around in my mind , waiting to take shape on paper . While I haven ’ t started writing yet , I ’ m excited about the potential for these projects to come to fruition . Whether it ’ s exploring new themes , delving into different genres , or simply expressing myself creatively , I look forward to the journey of bringing these ideas to life . Stay tuned for what ’ s to come !
Finally , do you have any recommendations of books you have loved recently ?
I ’ m currently engrossed in audiobooks , and two standout authors for me have been Maya Angelou and Pamela Anderson . Maya Angelou ’ s timeless treasures never fail to inspire me , while Pamela Anderson ’ s unexpected charm in her writing was a pleasant surprise .
I ’ m a huge fan of Dr Anita Heiss and Professor Larissa Behrendt . Their exceptional contributions to literature are invaluable , with insightful narratives that shed light on important issues and resonate deeply with me . I ’ ve devoured all of their books with my eyes .
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