“ The whole staff takes it hard ,” Dreyer says . “ It ’ s such a tight community here , so when that happens , it hits everybody .”
The hospital holds debriefings and offers chaplain services , but often the greatest comfort after a child ’ s death is discussing it with each other . Dreyer calls these conversations therapeutic , giving nurses the opportunity to share their grief with others who understand . Emily Breguet , an assistant nurse manager with three children of her own , recalls one night shift when NICU staff was struggling to care for two critically ill newborns . She was relieved to see one of her fellow nurses arrive at 3 a . m . to join the fight .
“ Both those kids died within an hour . And if I hadn ’ t had her , I don ’ t know what I would have done ,” she says .
Like other health care workers , NICU staff has faced the additional challenge of working amid the constant threat of COVID-19 . Danielle Buzzell , a nurse with severe asthma who has worked in the NICU for seventeen years , says the hardest part for her has been wearing an N95 mask at all times while working . She recalls the early weeks of the pandemic when she would strip down hazmat-style and shower before greeting her children after work . Even now , she says , her kids don ’ t race up to her for a hug and a kiss when she gets home .
“ The very beginning , I thought this was the year I was going to die ,” she says . “ I have young children at home , so we were afraid . But we have a calling , and we are all these babies have . We ’ re very specialized in our training , and so we came and we did it .”
When she received her first COVID-19 shot the day after Christmas in 2020 , she was so relieved she cried .
“ This is a calling to be a NICU nurse . If we didn ’ t show up to work , if we just quit , who would they have ?” she asks . >>
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