ADR CORNER
I Am a Mediator Because Peace Has a Value
MARK GREENBERG
12 years ago , I went through a divorce . It was a long , expensive , and emotionally painful process for both of us . Pamela , my former wife , and I did not hate each other . We simply were not going to remain married and had a few strong disagreements about how that was going to look moving forward . Both of us were hurt , worried about our two children , and probably beginning to realize we needed to examine our own shortcomings and how that had contributed to the end of our marriage . We had to mediate three times , with two different mediators , to settle our case . Finally , we each compromised , signed the settlement agreement , and began to move on with our lives .
Over time our wounds healed , and we made peace with each other . Without ever expressly saying it ( at first ), we both acknowledged we had not treated the other person well during the marriage . Most importantly , we forgave each other .
As we healed , we talked about how the divorce went . We both realized that we had spent a lot of time , a lot of money , and expended an endless amount of emotion which could have been avoided had we settled earlier . We realized that the mediator we used for the first two mediations was the wrong person . She was , and is , a very good mediator , but she was simply the wrong person for our issues and personalities . Finally , when we brought in the right person , that made all the difference . She was able to help us break through the logjams and settle our divorce . Otherwise , we probably would have ended up in trial , and we certainly would have ended up fighting for a long time after the trial . That mediator allowed us to break down our barriers and work through the remaining issues to resolve our divorce . I am not saying it was " amicable ", but rather it laid the foundation for us to become amicable over the next several months . That mediator therefore provided both a legal benefit in helping us settle , and an emotional benefit for allowing us to recognize where each person was coming from and move forward peacefully over time . That peace was a huge advantage
for our kids , who could at least see us coparenting well , even if we were no longer married .
In short , I learned that Peace Has a Value . The peace that came from the divorce being final , the peace that came from being able to move forward with our lives , and the peace that allowed us to wake up and not have the weight of the case hanging over us every day . When we left the final mediation , we each of course thought we had given up too much . But over time , we both were happy we had stopped the bleeding and were able to move forward .
It was after that I became certified as a mediator , and that is now all I do . Mediation is a wonderful way to provide real value to people who come before you , while making a living . I know that even when people leave a little disappointed in how the case settled , 2 weeks later they are usually very happy to have it off their plate or to have closed that file , and to have moved on with either their lives or to the next case . Attorney ’ s clients are happy , and that leads to more clients for that attorney .
Financially , we estimate each settled case saves between $ 200,000.00 and $ 250,000.00 in legal fees versus going to a jury trial . In 2021 , our average mediation cost was $ 1,500 . $ 200,000 divided by $ 1,500 equals $ 133 saved for every $ 1 invested . That is a return on investment (“ ROI ”) of 13,000 %. It is the best investment the litigants can make .
I would like to clear up one myth about mediation though . If a case does not settle , I do not go home , relax , and forget about it as if it never happened . If I think that case could have settled , I do the same thing I did after I lost a trial or had a big hearing go the wrong way . I do a complete postmortem on it , thinking about what I could have done differently , how I could have asked different questions , and thinking it through . I do this so I can be better the next time , and most good mediators I have spoken with do the same thing .
Do we spend all weekend preparing for trial ? No . But we do think through how we
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could have helped you avoid spending that weekend preparing for trial , and hoping the next time we are able to do that .
Mark Greenberg is the founder of Breakthrough Mediation . He has tried over 100 cases to verdict , representing both Plaintiffs and Defendants . He now mediates cases throughout Florida , saving clients over $ 25 million dollars in legal expenses during 2021 , while helping them find peace in the resolution of contentious disputes . www . btmediation . com
For additional ADR tips and resources go to https :// www . palmbeachbar . org / alternativedispute-resolution-committee /
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