Mary's Song The Bethesda Issue | Page 9

testim onies By God, For God I nev er k new I was par t of a f al l en wor l d. I gr ew up t hi nk i ng t hat l i f e was about wor k i ng har d, havi ng a c ar eer , get t i ng mar r i ed and havi ng chi l dr en. I di d al l t hat I t hought was expec t ed of me but I al ways f el t t hat s omet hi ng was mi s s i ng s o, when t hat wor l d s t ar t ed gi vi ng way I began t o f al l apar t . By Br enda T emoni a On J an 1, 2010, my dear s i s t er di ed. Ei ght een days l at er , my s eemi ngl y heal t hy hus band of 27 year s di ed of hear t f ai l ur e i n f r ont of my eyes . I f el t s o hel pl es s . I was l ef t t o f i ni s h r ai s i ng our f our chi l dr en al one. I s ai d t o mys el f , “I c an do t hi s ”, but s oon my chi l dr en wer e ent er i ng hi gh s chool and goi ng of f t o c ol l ege. I was nʼ t needed as much and I f el t as i f I had no pur pos e s o, I began us i ng s ome s er i ous dr ugs i n an ef f or t t o hi de t he pai n. I was f al l i ng apar t and s l owl y dyi ng. I r eal i ze now I was c ompl et el y mi s s i ng my pur pos e bec aus e I was l ook i ng i n t he wr ong pl ac e, wi t hi n MYSEL F . I n 2016, Apr i l s hower s c ame and bot h my s weet momma and mot her - i n- l aw wer e bur i ed and gone t o heav en onl y days apar t . May 21, 2016 my f i r s t bor n s on, Br ock di ed of a dr ug ov er dos e and t hat was my f i nal day of des t r uc t i on. My f ami l y, f r i ends , and t hr ee r emai ni ng chi l dr en k new I was not goi ng t o mak e i t wi t hout hel p. Ei ght days l at er I f ound mys el f c r os s i ng t he t hr es hol d of Ma r yʼ s Song, s ur r ender i ng my f ai l i ng f i ght . T hi s i s wher e I needed t o begi n, wi t h God, my Cr eat or . I needed t o k now t hat I was made BY God, FOR God. “Ev er yt hi ng got s t ar t ed i n Hi m and f i nds i t s pur pos e i n Hi m. ” Col os s i ans 1: 16 T hi s i s wher e t he r edempt i on s t ar t s . F or t he f i r s t t i me I c an f eel t he hand J es us has had on my l i f e al l al ong. I had t o c ome t o T he L or d and as k f or f or gi v enes s and mer c y . I am changi ng! I am a mi r ac l e! I am wal k i ng out t hi s heal i ng as T he Fat her l eads me. T hi s has al l owed me t o hav e a l ovi ng and per s onal r el at i ons hi p wi t h my Cr eat or , God. Spr i ng 2017 { 9 }