18 Q & A
LIFESTYLE & WELLBEING
Q.
I’ve just found out that my son
has done something that I cannot
forgive. He doesn’t know that I know. I
am starting to feel that I did not do a good
job of raising my children. I am angry and
disappointed in him and myself. How can I
get this out of my head? JJ
A.
JJ, perhaps the only way you can
get this out of your head is to
find a resolution. Can you find a non-
confrontational way to talk to your son
about this? Until you’ve heard his side
of the story, its better to not judge him
based on someone else’s version of what
happened. You don’t say what the terrible
thing he has done is, so I can only advise
you to deal with the situation as it seems
fit. It may be that he needs your help and
guidance.
Q.
Every diet I try does not work. I
either end up gaining weight or
staying at the same weight. I am sensible
about it and even weight watchers hasn’t
helped.
A.
Sometimes, it’s a hidden thing like
hormones or digestion. Talk to a
nutritionist about it. And also, educate
yourself about how your body works, it
may give you the insight you need to figure
it out for yourself.
Q.
Hello Naya. My mother has a baby
with her now partner. I’ve been
working and living with my partner for 3
years. She seems to think that I owe her
for everything she’s done for me as a kid,
and that gives her unlimited babysitting
rights. I love my little sister but I have
a life of my own and if my partner and
I chose to stay in a lot, I don’t feel that
means I should be ok with babysitting 3
to 4 times a week. She doesn’t pay me,
and I don’t want paid, I just don’t want to
be taken advantage of. My partner is not
happy about this either. Exactly what do I
owe my mum? I didn’t ask to be born, nor
did I know she was keeping tabs.
A.
I think that as children you have
to live under your parents ruling,
until you come of age. If our parents are
present, loving, and provide for us, then
morally and ethically we will return that
with love, respect and gratitude. This isn’t
a contract for future recall. No, you do not
owe your mother free babysitting or any
naya cunningham
babysitting. She is living her life by her
choices and the consequences are hers to
deal with. Same deal for you. Any use of
guilt tactics are just manipulation. If you
want to help out, that’s up to you, but set
the guidelines to suit you.
Q.
Dear Naya, My hubby of 25 years is a
lovely man. Everyone loves him and
he has many friendships of good value. He
is very handy and likes to fix things. The
problem is that he seems to do everything
for everyone, except our family. Our
house could certainly do with some
DIY, the same as everyone else. Except
we never make it to the list. I’m losing
patience as I see my home falling apart
around me. Why can’t he see this?
A.
Perhaps your hubby has a need to
be appreciated and respected by
others, and he has found this through his
handy deeds. His need to feel important is
stronger for people outside of the family
circle perhaps because he already has your
unconditional love and devotion. In his
own way, these deeds could be his therapy
as they build his self-esteem.
mind and body concepts
For further support call to make a confidential appointment with Naya Ph 579 5606 WWW.NAYACUNNINGHAM.COM
HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR LOCAL EXPERT? Email [email protected] or text 0274 262 447. All correspondence is confidential.
naya cunningham
mind and body therapy
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