March 2022 Issue #3 MM | Page 97

8 . Gender play
A lot of cisgender people use their fantasies as a way of exploring their gender role and / or expression . For example , I found that about 1 in 4 cis persons had fantasized about cross-dressing , while about 1 in 3 had fantasized about trading bodies with someone of another sex .
These fantasies are sometimes about a desire to break free of traditional gender roles or to explore the self ; however , there was also a lot of overlap with BDSM . For example , several men reported what they described as “ forced feminization ” fantasies , in which a partner “ forces ” them to dress as a woman .
9 . Cuckolding
Fantasies about watching your partner have sex with someone else are very common , especially among men . In fact , I found that 58 % of men and 33 % of women had fantasized about this before .
Cuckolding fantasies can be appealing for a number of reasons . For some , it ’ s about self-enhancement — knowing that other people find their partner to be hot actually boosts their self-esteem . For others , it ’ s about wanting to see their partner sexually satisfied — they take pleasure in their partner ’ s pleasure . And for yet others , there ’ s a BDSM element — in many of these fantasies , the watcher is taking on a submissive role and is sometimes humiliated in the process .
10 . Food and sex
It turns out that a lot of people are into the idea of incorporating food with sex . About 40 % of my participants had fantasized about this before .
Most commonly , this included things like ice cubes , strawberries , and whipped cream .
The appeal of mixing food and sex is partly about novelty , or the desire to try new and different things . But it ’ s also about adding new sensations , tastes , and textures .
However , there is sometimes also a fetishistic element to the use of food , and sometimes a BDSM element — foods are sometimes used in a dominant / submissive or humiliating way .
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