Far left: This photo was taken
an hour before I found out I was
pregnant. Left: In the hospital
with sunglasses, an icepack and
an IV drip. Below: 13 weeks
pregnant, the day we shared the
news with friends and family.
I had the odd dizzy day, headaches and a
weird ‘feeling’ but I knew this was most likely
my period on the way. On Wednesday 16th
May, 2 days before my period was due, I had a
morning nap at around 11am – that was not like me. Could I be?
Am I…pregnant? When Mark returned home, I immediately did
a pregnancy test… OH. MY. GOD - IT’S WORKED! I burst out
crying and kept staring at the very prominent pink line. I’m pregnant.
I looked at Mark and we burst out laughing, I’m not sure what we
found funny at that exact moment, but his face is an expression I
won’t ever forget.
The Pregnancy
I have decided that anybody who says pregnancy is amazing is either
lying or very, very fortunate.
At just 5 weeks pregnant, I was pale, shaky, weak and vomiting
approximately 30 – 40 times a day. I remember thinking ‘wow,
mums are bad-ass to deal with morning sickness’,
little did I know I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum
(HG) - a pregnancy complication characterised by
severe nausea, vomiting, weight loss, and possible
dehydration. Just my luck.
If you’ve ever had a hangover so crippling you can’t
physically move, you can probably imagine what HG
feels like. The only difference? You know you’re going
to feel exactly the same the next day, and most likely
the day after that too.
Even with anti-sickness tablets, the vomiting was
so bad, some days I just stayed on the bathroom floor.
I couldn’t keep anything down, even water. At just 10
weeks pregnant I was hospitalised due to dehydration
and given IV fluids for a week. I returned home with alternative
anti-sickness medication and the realisation that this pregnancy was
going to suck.
I had migraines almost daily and
struggled to navigate my way around
the house without sunglasses and a
hand glued to my head. At about
4 months, I’d had enough - this
pregnancy was taking it out of me,
physically, mentally and emotionally.
I could no longer cope. I had a
lengthy conversation with Mark
about whether I could continue with
the pregnancy – it was just that bad.
After almost two years of hormone
treatment, I absolutely knew I
wanted the baby so these feelings
must be due to increased hormones
and severe sickness. I can do this.
Going in for our 20-week scan
was both exciting and nerve-wracking. Our priority was making sure
the baby was healthy, but we were also both keen to find out the sex
of the baby. We had already agreed on names, were we going to have
a Beatrice or were we going to have a Max? After a few star-jumps
and prods from the sonographer, the baby finally showed us what we
needed to see. It’s a girl! I felt an overwhelming feeling of love for the
first time and was more anxious than ever to meet her – especially
after the crap she’d put me through so far!
We had heard of Hypnobirthing and were quite open to trying
it, anything to make the birth easier seemed like a good idea at this
point. May and Jan, who run the classes, taught us how to induce
deep relaxation using breathing techniques, visualisation and reading
scripts to help have an easier, quicker labour.
We were as prepared as we could be. We had
been practicing the breathing techniques, Mark had
been reading scripts to me, and I had been using
my birthing ball religiously. My birthing preference
included staying at home for as long as possible,
followed by a natural pool birth. I understood that
the pool may not be available, so I had also prepared
for a standing birth. We had playlists ready, and a list
of snacks the length of my arm. Suffice to say, when
you are advised to have a backup plan, make 2 or 3!
As my due date of 18th January approached, I
was feeling fed up and so done with pregnancy – I’d
had Braxton Hicks every day since week 16, I was
still being sick accompanied by nose bleeds, I had
severe pelvic girdle meaning I needed crutches to walk and I’d been
diagnosed with an irritable uterus after further stays in the hospital –
I was so done with pregnancy.
"I was more
anxious than
ever to meet
her – especially
after the crap
she’d put me
through so far!"
56