Manner Issue 7 | Page 56

Far left: This photo was taken an hour before I found out I was pregnant. Left: In the hospital with sunglasses, an icepack and an IV drip. Below: 13 weeks pregnant, the day we shared the news with friends and family. I had the odd dizzy day, headaches and a weird ‘feeling’ but I knew this was most likely my period on the way. On Wednesday 16th May, 2 days before my period was due, I had a morning nap at around 11am – that was not like me. Could I be? Am I…pregnant? When Mark returned home, I immediately did a pregnancy test… OH. MY. GOD - IT’S WORKED! I burst out crying and kept staring at the very prominent pink line. I’m pregnant. I looked at Mark and we burst out laughing, I’m not sure what we found funny at that exact moment, but his face is an expression I won’t ever forget. The Pregnancy I have decided that anybody who says pregnancy is amazing is either lying or very, very fortunate. At just 5 weeks pregnant, I was pale, shaky, weak and vomiting approximately 30 – 40 times a day. I remember thinking ‘wow, mums are bad-ass to deal with morning sickness’, little did I know I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) - a pregnancy complication characterised by severe nausea, vomiting, weight loss, and possible dehydration. Just my luck. If you’ve ever had a hangover so crippling you can’t physically move, you can probably imagine what HG feels like. The only difference? You know you’re going to feel exactly the same the next day, and most likely the day after that too. Even with anti-sickness tablets, the vomiting was so bad, some days I just stayed on the bathroom floor. I couldn’t keep anything down, even water. At just 10 weeks pregnant I was hospitalised due to dehydration and given IV fluids for a week. I returned home with alternative anti-sickness medication and the realisation that this pregnancy was going to suck. I had migraines almost daily and struggled to navigate my way around the house without sunglasses and a hand glued to my head. At about 4 months, I’d had enough - this pregnancy was taking it out of me, physically, mentally and emotionally. I could no longer cope. I had a lengthy conversation with Mark about whether I could continue with the pregnancy – it was just that bad. After almost two years of hormone treatment, I absolutely knew I wanted the baby so these feelings must be due to increased hormones and severe sickness. I can do this. Going in for our 20-week scan was both exciting and nerve-wracking. Our priority was making sure the baby was healthy, but we were also both keen to find out the sex of the baby. We had already agreed on names, were we going to have a Beatrice or were we going to have a Max? After a few star-jumps and prods from the sonographer, the baby finally showed us what we needed to see. It’s a girl! I felt an overwhelming feeling of love for the first time and was more anxious than ever to meet her – especially after the crap she’d put me through so far! We had heard of Hypnobirthing and were quite open to trying it, anything to make the birth easier seemed like a good idea at this point. May and Jan, who run the classes, taught us how to induce deep relaxation using breathing techniques, visualisation and reading scripts to help have an easier, quicker labour. We were as prepared as we could be. We had been practicing the breathing techniques, Mark had been reading scripts to me, and I had been using my birthing ball religiously. My birthing preference included staying at home for as long as possible, followed by a natural pool birth. I understood that the pool may not be available, so I had also prepared for a standing birth. We had playlists ready, and a list of snacks the length of my arm. Suffice to say, when you are advised to have a backup plan, make 2 or 3! As my due date of 18th January approached, I was feeling fed up and so done with pregnancy – I’d had Braxton Hicks every day since week 16, I was still being sick accompanied by nose bleeds, I had severe pelvic girdle meaning I needed crutches to walk and I’d been diagnosed with an irritable uterus after further stays in the hospital – I was so done with pregnancy. "I was more anxious than ever to meet her – especially after the crap she’d put me through so far!" 56