EDITOR'S STORY
The
story of
Beatrice
Matilda
After battling endometriosis, suffering with hyperemesis and delivering a vaginal
footling breech, it's safe to say my pregnancy wasn't the easiest. I want to share my
story with other people to show that pregnancy isn't always as easy at it seems and
plans don't always unfold the way you intend, but that's OK.
I
Words by Sophie Wilkinson
always wanted a family of my own, but after being
diagnosed with endometriosis in 2011, I knew my chances
of conceiving naturally were slim. Mark and I had agreed
that we wanted children, but if it didn’t happen, we were
fine with that too. We had decided to avoid contraception
with the view that if we did conceive, we should be
thankful regardless of the timing or the circumstances, but
after 6 years of being together and still no baby, we brushed
the topic aside.
In October 2016 we got married in New York. Soon after, we
discussed our options with a doctor as we had decided that we
definitely wanted to start our own family and would try anything
to make it happen. At the beginning of 2017, I underwent a second
laparoscopy to remove any visible endometriosis and undergo a dye
test to check for fallopian tube blockages which could have been
contributing to my lack of fertility. After all the necessary checks had
been done, we began hormone treatment.
Getting pregnant
I was naive to begin with and thought I’d be pregnant within a month
or so, but instead, every month became a predictable, painstaking form
of torture.
The month would start with a phone call to the Assisted Reproduction
Unit (ARU) to inform them my period had begun, I’d then be called in
for a scan at around day 3 and given FSH injections to be administered
daily at home. I would have a follow-up scan at around day 10 to check
on the progress of the follicles, a few more days of injections if needed
and a further scan. If too many follicles had grown, we had to cancel
the cycle at the risk of multiples. If the follicles and the endometrium
lining were both of the right sizes, we were given an HCG injection
to help release the eggs, and told to have sex for the next few days –
romantic!
Almost every month I would do a pregnancy test, certain that the
twinge in my belly was different from the previous month, or that the
headache I was feeling must be linked to pregnancy. When no pink
line showed I’d convince myself the test was faulty, and often do two or
three… and then my period would arrive, and the vicious cycle would
start again.
After 15 months of treatment, I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t
pregnant – I didn’t smoke, I barely drank, I ate well and exercised
regularly, so why wasn’t it happening? Friends and family members
were getting pregnant, some without even trying. I struggled with my
reactions as part of me was happy for them, but there was also a part of
me that was so deeply jealous.
We spoke to the doctor about IVF and had decided to give it a go
after one more month of injections. On Friday 13th April my period
arrived, I rang ARU and followed the steps we were all too familiar with.
On Thursday 26th April I administered my HCG injection and went
to bed. All weekend I couldn’t bring myself to engage in intercourse, I
had gone so far passed frustration I just didn’t care anymore. We both
knew it wasn’t going to do anything, but out of feeling guilty for not
even trying, we had intercourse on Monday 30th April.
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