WELLNESS
THE DIARY OF A sober sister
Michelle O ' Connell shares snippets of her sober adventure
I
love wine o ’ clock . I still do , but as I ’ ve been a sober sister for 500 days and counting , how did I get to this point ? Cue lockdown 1 .
LOCKDOWN Let ' s take a step back to 2020 . Lockdown 1 . Around this time , I was becoming sober curious and took the enforced isolation as an opportunity to give sobriety a go . My son came back from abroad , and the two of us spent our time binge-watching Netflix , eating copious amounts of homebaked goods , and trying to make Sourdough bread . Every day felt like a Sunday afternoon , I was very lucky . The days turned into weeks , and alcohol just wasn ' t on the agenda . There was no wine o ' clock , no need for that reward after a hard day at work or stress buster to help fix the problems that everyday life threw at me . As lockdown ended , I started to get a little bit anxious , but I couldn ' t figure out why .
WINE O ' CLOCK Ahh , that magic time of the day . Wine O ' Clock . How was I going to cope without it ? I ' m a feeder and love to cook whilst enjoying a lovely large glass of something icy . It was my ritual , my default setting for my entire adult life . This was going to be difficult . Yes , I felt like I wanted that taste of wine and to get that rush and hit of dopamine that the first glass gave me , but during lockdown I hadn ' t missed it , as I had other distractions to provide me with that reward , like chocolate , TV , reading and crocheting .
And so , looking back , it came as no surprise to me that my first sober spell came to an end a few months after lockdown . I had been in a bubble , in a state of suspended reality .
My inner voice told me “ you ’ ve managed five months sober , you don ’ t have an issue with the booze . Cut yourself some slack !” I was kidding myself .
FOREVER CHOICE Fast-forward to February 2021 ; I already knew that keeping the ritual was essential , the only thing that needed to change was the contents of my glass , and so began the fun task of checking out the alcohol-free alternatives . I won ' t go into the details about the copious amounts of beverages I taste-tested - it took lots of time and effort , which was a good distraction . I eventually found a handful of excellent non- and low-alcoholic drinks that worked for me . So now we were getting somewhere . I was all set . But I knew it wasn ' t truly about the alternatives .
Something had shifted in me , because this time was going to be different , my forever choice . I was sure of it because during that trial period , I had discovered a big truth . And it was quite simply that I preferred the sober me . I had looked inwards and learnt from past attempts and finally was all set to stay on course this time .
It hadn ’ t just been about the glowing skin , increased energy levels and the nourishing sleep , ( fun fact - not drinking makes you look younger ) but way more noticeable had been the feeling of freedom I ’ d experienced , which had changed my attitude . I was more positive , less anxious and felt more connected to the people I love and to my surroundings . I ’ d figured out exactly why I wanted to make the change . I had turned my face towards the sun and it felt good .
It had taken three years of being sober curious to understand what alcohol did to my mind and body . Being sober will never give me the hit that booze did , and thank goodness for that . My wine alternative was still a prop , but not for masking my stress and anxiety ; it was there to remind me that I was owning my choice .
Don ' t get me wrong , my life ’ s day to day crap is still there , just like everyone else ' s , but I deal with it better . Everything I say and do is the real me saying and doing it . Being a sober sister is a blast !
The ritual hasn ' t changed , just what ' s in my glass - as long as it ' s not a diet coke or a warm orange juice , thanks . •
Michelle will be sharing more about her sober adventure in the next issue of Manner .
This issue , Michelle recommends : The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober , by Catherine Gray www . mannermagazine . co . uk 73