" It has made me even more in awe of both women and midwives , and I am forever grateful that I have been lucky enough to experience pregnancy and birth ."
The next couple of hours were spent on the sofa having skin-to-skin and breastfeeding Flora ; she initially latched and fed well after birth . The midwives cleared up and emptied the pool , and the room was almost back to normal in no time – and contrary to popular belief , home birth is not messy ! That first shower after birth was just amazing - I stood in the shower in total disbelief at what had happened and thanked my body for all that it had done . I felt so lucky to have had such an amazing home birth experience and that everything had gone exactly as I had hoped for throughout my pregnancy . From start to finish , my labour was about three hours , which is fantastic , but also quite a shock for both mind and body – but overall , I wouldn ' t change it for the world .
People have asked how it feels being on the other side as a midwife and Hypnobirthing teacher – it has made me even more in awe of both women and midwives , and I am forever grateful that I have been lucky enough to experience pregnancy and birth . People asked me regularly if I was scared about birth – and the truth is , I wasn ' t - I had faith that it would be okay . I know that not everyone feels this way , and I am lucky to have witnessed hundreds of births ( many of them being home births ) in my career as a midwife . My own birth experience has made me love midwifery and birth more than I already did , and as I sit writing this now at 12 weeks postpartum , I cannot describe the wonder of the female body and what it can achieve .
The first 12 weeks after birth are known as the ' fourth trimester ', and for me , this was the trimester I found the hardest . The first few weeks of Flora ' s life have felt like a whirlwind of sleep deprivation , uncertainty and adapting to a new role and life , and it has been challenging . We have had a few breastfeeding difficulties , which was challenging for me as a midwife as I put myself under a lot of pressure to get everything ' right .' It took a good few weeks to find our new normal , and I can now say that I am enjoying motherhood and Flora so much . But I also feel sadness at how quickly the fourth trimester has gone and that the newborn stage has whizzed by in a blur of uncertainty , sleep deprivation and breastfeeding struggles . I didn ' t enjoy and cherish it as much as I should have , but I want to normalise the fact that I think lots of new mums feel the same .
Although I had a lot of experience as a midwife , becoming a mum is something that nothing can prepare you for ; it can be so hard , but it is genuinely the best thing in the world . I wouldn ' t say that I will be a better midwife as a result of having my own baby , but perhaps a different one . •
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