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BIRTH STORY I did try the gas and air, but I didn’t like it at all as it disturbed my rhythm of breathing and coping. Once the midwife had told me I was 6cm dilated, I felt a bit relieved and asked for the birthing pool to be prepared. The birthing pool I loved the feeling of the warm water on my skin and body, it relaxed and comforted me so much. Again the room had dimmed lights and Gerrit brought all our things from the other room. Tea light candles, and my playlist which I am sure the midwives and Gerrit were sick of listening to over and over - it really helped me, though. I heard one or two choruses and that would be enough to keep me strong and get me through yet another surge. I had a lovely midwife and a student midwife and felt so lucky to have two lovely, calm women there with me. They respected all my birth preferences and were very professional at the same time. I wore my red nightdress which was super comfy and stretchy, and something familiar so I felt like 'me' in it. My positions consisted of squatting and hanging over the edge of the pool. I took sips of water in-between surges, and the two midwives measured our heart rate frequently. By now my surges were intense. I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to get it over with. I kept on repeating the birth affirmations, 'the surges are not happening to me, my surges cannot be stronger than me, they are me' and 'the surges are real but it is not dangerous, just breathe through them.' My husband sat with me in the pool for a while. I did not want any touch or massage, I just wanted him close. I was so tired and felt like I couldn’t continue for much longer. Not long after, I experienced an intense and uncontrollable urge to push. I remember it feeling amazing, I had no words. The midwife explained that I should stay down in the water for the birth; when you get these urges to push you naturally want to move or stand up a bit. I was tired of squatting but I knew I had to push through. I felt the head coming out slightly before going back in which made me feel quite scared as I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. I stayed calm though, and with the next surge I pushed hard and pop, the head came out! I could feel his head and hair, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I also thought, ‘wow, his head is out, it wasn’t that hard!’ - a rollercoaster of emotions. As he had moved position, I had to stand for one final push. Hector was birthed quick and easy at 1:52am on Thursday 18th July. A few seconds after Hector was born, he gave us the most beautiful crying sound I would ever hear and we held him close in our arms, with a feeling of love, achievement and totally in awe. It was the most intense and heartfelt experience of my life. A moment my husband and I will share forever. I was a little sad that I couldn't catch my baby myself in the water and bring him up to my chest with the cord still attached, but it was pretty close and I knew these were just preferences. Giving birth is unpredictable and I had the chance of having the birth that I dreamed of, so for that, I am so thankful. After birth No one ever really talks about the placenta. After spending a little time with my husband and son, I started to get surges again. With the midwife's advice, I squatted low and the placenta was out. I remember apologising for all the blood on the white towels! Once we were in one of the delivery rooms, my "We held him close in our arms, with a feeling of love, achievement and totally in awe." beautiful baby boy lay on my chest breastfeeding whilst the midwife checked me over. It turned out I needed to go into surgery because I had quite a bad tear. My husband was so supportive. I loved that he had a calmness around him and sureness when we had to make decisions. It was about three hours, a spinal block and catheter later and then I could hold Hector again and breastfeed him while chatting away. I felt good. Just extremely tired. The doctors were amazing! I was in the hospital for a total of four nights. The first night was quite terrifying, I didn’t want my husband to leave. I remember thinking, 'I am now fully responsible for this tiny human being, not the midwives, I can’t just sleep.' Gerrit returned in the morning and stayed until late, bringing snacks and cold drinks with him every time. My first shower was strange, I was surprised at how much blood there still was. I felt amazing afterwards, and more like myself once I had put cream and mascara on. On Sunday 21st July, we excitedly walked home - the moment was too big to describe. OUR baby is in his bassinet stroller, sleeping, on our way home! My legs felt heavy and light at the same time, but my heart felt even fuller. • 53